Competence of TV doctor questioned
The competence of TV's Doctor Hilary has been called into question today after he told one caller "Hemorrhoids are relatively easy to treat, but they can be a real pain in the neck."
Police appeal for witnesses
Police are appealing for witnesses after a man was attacked in the early hours of the morning. The victim is said to have suffered 'at least two broken legs'.
Give up smoking in one easy step. Each day avoid having your first fag. This will ensure you can't have your second, third, fourth...
Be a hit on the spoof!
Write an irreverent news story titled 'Harry Potter in Seven Dwarfs Sex Scandal', fill it with 'Frankie Howerd-esque' innuendo and awful puns. Mention where possible any 90s TV hasbeen.
Panic as Hyperinflation Reaches America
US citizens have been told to remain calm as hyperinflation reaches America. The government have assured everyone there is no need to panic - 28GG glamour model Jordan will return to Britain tomorrow.
Lizard For Sale
Lizard for sale. Needs terrarium. Friendly temperament. Eats cricketers.
Church bulletin misprint
Church choir in desperate need of new sinnners.
A new dance called the Politician has taken the world by storm. The steps are simple: "All you have to do, is take three steps forward, two steps backward, then side-step side-step and turn around."
New Church transport unveiled
The Pope has unveiled plans for the Catholic church to bring their parishioners to services by bus. They plan to call it mass transit.
The V & A have bought the iconic logo used by the Rolling Stones for £51,000. However, DeFRA have banned it from display to the public in case it carries 'Blue Tongue Virus'.
Sarah Palin's Daughter & John Edwards?
Unmarried daughter of Alaska's governor is expecting a bundle of joy. John Edwards denies any wrong-doing, but is buying another Texas mansion for her and his former campaign manager.
written by PP Rega
, 02 September 2008
Scientists Discover a Gene Linked to Male Infidelity
"Yippee!" shout cheating husbands. "We're not pigs after all, we're just genetically deprived individuals."
Testicular cancer awareness concert
Chris Moyles has been criticised for his insensitive opening of a concert to raise awareness of testicular cancer.
The radio one DJ opened the gig with the sound check "testes, testes, 1-2, 1-2."
'Back off' says Kerry Katona
Kerry Katona says being hounded by the media on a daily basis has caused her depression. The News of the World said they would like to apologize to the porky dumbass bitch.
This week's weigh-in will take place at the Salvation Army Hall at 6pm. Please use large double doors at the side of the property.