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Airline name change

In today's uncertain economic climate, budget airline operators Easyjet have decided to rename themselves 'Uneasyjet'.

written by IN SEINE, 15 September 2008
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Lehman Employee Admits 70% of Workers "Liberal Democrats"!

Citing Sharia Courts, millions of disenfranchised American Tax Payers and Home Owners, threatened with foreclosure, chanted, "TOO BAD" 3 times before firing them after unbiased Muslim Arbitration.

written by Morse, 15 September 2008
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Big Stink In Manchester

In Manchester yesterday, a visitor to the Pleasant Hill Nursing Facility reported that the Home's surprise evacuation drill "stunk to high heaven!"

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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Delia at it again

Delia Smith in trouble with Norwich City board after publishing new cookbook for winos called 'Yahayy! Nourish! Zzzz'

written by Midgetgems, 15 September 2008
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More Disney World Character Problems

Just when Disney World gets over the arrest last year of Goofy on child pornography charges, it was reported this morning that both Mickey and Minnie have been placed under mouse arrest.

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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Neanderthal News

Discovery: Neanderthals used small sticks to clean teeth, rear ends, place under Neanderthal woman's nose to bring her back to consciousness after clubbing.

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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Obama Says Sharia Court to Replace Supreme Court Soon

Hussein Obama pledged to dissolve the Supreme Court as soon as he is elected. Citing the Muslim Tribunal now ruling Britain, Obama chanted "I HATE YOU" 3 times as he divorced himself from Hillary

written by Morse, 15 September 2008
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31,374 Delinquent Taxpayers in Postal Service to IRS:Checks in the Mail!

The IRS said in order to cover the Financial Crisis caused by Postal workers it was raising rates to $5.50 for a letter. Rep Rangle proposes amnesty bill for "all" govt. employees who now owe $3.5m.

written by Morse, 15 September 2008
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Latest On Hadron Collider

A large Hadron Collider has supposedly solved the mystery of the universe. "It most likely started with a bang and will end with a whimper", stated Professor T.S. Idiot.

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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Boeing to Chavez: Here, Try One of Our 737's!

Boeing said they think they improved a problem in the 737 after only two fatal Russian crashes in a month. "Free Fly" program is marketing ploy offered to Narco Terrorists and appears to be working.

written by Morse, 15 September 2008
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Tongues Question

When asked about her personal belief in "speaking in strange tongues" yesterday, Sarah Palin answered, "What's so new about that? Hasn't President Bush been doing that for eight years?"

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
Rating:

Bookstore Robbery

A Barnes & Noble bookstore in Destin, Florida reports the theft of over 300 Self-Help books Sunday night. "Apparently
they just broke in and helped themselves", stated store owner, Jay Emery."

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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Bold Protestor

After watching film of lone Chinese protester in Tiananmen Square, lone American consumer boldly stands in front of long line of Wal-Mart trucks in Benton, Arkansas.

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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New Discovery

Archeologists in Egypt have discovered a four-thousand-year-old matzo ball in an ancient food pyramid.

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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Palin The Huntress

Sarah Palin: I could shoot and field dress Joe Biden in three minutes, including the removal of all those silly hair plugs.

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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U.S. Stock Market Plumments...

...after pictures surface of Sarah Palin clubbing baby seals.

written by Jack Van Gump, 15 September 2008
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Daily Mail bases headines on spoof news story

Tabloid newspaper "Daily Mail" made an embarrassing mistake when they based a cover story on facts presented in a spoof news article. Nevertheless, it's the most accurate story they've run this year.

written by Sha, 15 September 2008
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Political Button Loses Favor

"I Like Ike" buttons from the 1952 presidential campaign decline in value.

written by Gail Farrelly, 15 September 2008
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Helpmates

A new study of women who have gone out and purchased Viagra for their mates usually insist that they're still in love with the big old softies.

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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Maytag's Lonely Repairman

Maytag has announced that their lonely repairman Jesse White, dead since 1997, is still waiting for someone to come and bury him.

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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Real Bummer

A suicide bummer on Haight Street in San Francisco takes out half a dozen old hippies and flower grannies with him.

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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Footprint Fines

Abominable Snowmen, Sasquatch and Yeti join forces to object to heavy fines over carbon bigfoot prints.

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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McCain Courts Environmentalists

John McCain, more in agreement with environmentalists over the endangered polar bear than Bush, told an audience yesterday "My old gang and I never thought the wooley mammoth would disappear either."

written by Bureau, 15 September 2008
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