Order by:
Rating:

A Charming Fellow

Snake charmer arrested. As police lead him off he can be heard saying, "Hey snakey, you sure are pretty," and "My gosh, you've got some beautiful snake eyes."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 October 2008
Rating:

That's a Bunch of Hocus Pocus

A magician was arrested for disorderly conduct. He was handcuffed and placed in the back of a police car. One of the officers heard him utter the words 'hocus pocus' and poof he disappeared.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Fast Food

A fast food chain in Kentucky was fined because customers were complaining that the food was slow.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Home split

A rowing couple in Cambodia give new meaning to "broken home" by sawing their home in half to avoid the divorce courts. Damien Hurst is very interested in the property.

written by IN SEINE, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Watch Out! Watch Out! Skype Spies are about!

People who use skype are being warned that they are monitored if they mention anything vaguely anti-Chinese, like Tibet.

written by IN SEINE, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Be Merciful

Fed up with the current, 2-party system, a new politcal party is being formed; NAME: The Pity Party MOTTO:... C'mon, we never win anything. Vote for us once, please?

written by IN SEINE, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Racing Latest:

In a Scandinavian race, the last Lapp crossed the Finnish line.

written by IN SEINE, 09 October 2008
Rating:

'Guys and Dolls'

Actor Oliver Platt will star in the Broadway production of 'Guys and Dolls.' He will portray one of the 'Guys.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 October 2008
Rating:

McCain's 'Fightin'' Words

The rock band, The Foo Fighters has said that they want John McCain to stop using their song 'My Hero' in his campaign...McCain reportedly replied, "Make me my friends, make me!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Beverly Hills Landfill

Hugh Hefner has broken up with one of his girlfriends. He says that he has been down in the dumps. It sounds like a rather strange place for him to be looking for another girlfriend.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Meltdown

Person in the park who left the cake out in the rain the first person eliminated from this year's MacArthur Genius Awards.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

No Slang Names

Little Barack Sambo and Pillsbury Dough Boy object to news reports using slang terms for their names in the press. The press deny it.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Tommy Cooper Back from the dead

The previously assumed dead comedy magician, Tommy Cooper (63), made a shock return to the Royal Variety Performance this year. When asked how he returned from the dead, he replied: "Just like that!"

written by IainB, 09 October 2008
Rating:

PBS To Show Recount

PBS to do week-long fundraiser by showing hour-by-hour, day-by-day week-long 2000 Presidential recount in the state of Florida.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Consumer Report

While the price of gas has somewhat stabilized of late, Consumer Watch reports that the cost of metal detectors, beans and hard tack have nearly doubled.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Happy Halloween

FDA warns parents that this year's Halloween apples could contain razorblades or needles and candy could contain Melamine, plus some masks contain leaded paint. Otherwise, have a wonderful Halloween!

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Nader Fundraiser

A lonely Ralph Nader raised $10,000 from his Ten-Thousand-Dollar A Plate fundraiser last night in New York City.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Painting Recalled

German artist Gerhard Richter's masterpiece, "Joy Of Life" has been recalled from the museum after lead has been discovered in the paint.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Virgin Airlines Update

Virgin Airlines has just announced that there will be an extra $25 surcharge on each flyer who joins the Mile-High Club.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Better Prepared

President Bush, asked by reporters yesterday if the country was headed for another Great Depression, replied "If so, we're much better prepared this time, with all the generic xanax and valium."

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Cheney Back At White House

Vice-President Cheney says he has abandoned his Unknown Location because it has become haunted by the ghost of Saddam Hussein, constantly screaming, "Where are my virgins?"

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Genome Mapping Complete

The genome mapping of the duckbilled platypus has been completed, revealing a mixture of reptile, mammal, bird and Michael Jackson.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

ASPCA Announcement

The ASPCA proudly announced early this morning that Timberwolf turds can now be taken off the endangered feces list.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Psychic News

Well-known psychic, Elizabeth Joyce, claims that the late Johnny Carson is still awaiting Ed McMahon to come and introduce him to Saint Peter.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Japanese wins Nobel prize

Izuzu Moto won the Nobel prize for inventing a gene to make small penises visible in the dark. He hopes it will help Japan's birth rate.

written by disciple, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Election gets dirty

Michelle Obama, calls Cindy McCain a dumb "cunt" and Cindy fires back by calling Michelle a "Ho".

written by disciple, 09 October 2008
Rating:

Election gets dirty

John McCain accuses Obama of trying to steal his wallet at the debate. Obama fired back by calling McCain a lying Cracker.

written by disciple, 09 October 2008
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