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Obama Cuts Off Middle Finger During Budget Processing Informercial!

"Share the Wealth" Candidate got carried away demonstrating chopping off earnings from US small business owners with a cleaver that slipped. Switched hands to still give taxpayers "the finger"

written by Morse, 30 October 2008
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Cheap Date Lands Obama Buffet Diner in Jail for 2 days!

Atlanta police held Dan Liscomb in jail for days after refusing to pay for his date who ate off his plate at $7 Buffet. Despite stabbing waiter with his Obama "Share the Wealth Pin", ACLU takes case.

written by Morse, 30 October 2008
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Ralph Nader Upset To Be Left Off Ballot

Insists Green Spring Elementary place him on the list of Class President candidates.

written by kegoguinness, 30 October 2008
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Polls Suggest If The Election Were Held Today...

...most people would miss it.

written by Jill The Shill, 30 October 2008
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Ross and Brand: over-rated, cheap and out of control.

The Beeb is anxious to minimise any financial fallout over Ross and Brand's distasteful antics, so has included their names in the list of 1,800 items of human deadwood it is making redundant.


written by Rusty, 30 October 2008
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NYC Pile-Up

In New York City this morning there was a huge 20 shopping cart pile-up on the lower east side of Manhattan. Three people were slightly injured and some 27 others believed to be mumbling.

written by Bureau, 30 October 2008
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Castro Still In Charge

The latest news out of Havanna, Cuba is that, as of last night, Fidel Castro was still moving around a bit.

written by Bureau, 30 October 2008
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Number One College Snack

A new study involving students at several California colleges reveals that the number one snack food there is Free-Range Buffalo Wings!

written by Bureau, 30 October 2008
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Reuters On Hogs

According to a new report from REUTERS, hog futures are down while the number of pork bellies are up all across the United States.

written by Bureau, 30 October 2008
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ACORN Treed

The group known as ACORN explained to an investigator today that the reason they found several dead people on their register was because the person had voted early. Some as far back as 1992.

written by Bureau, 30 October 2008
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Border Crossings

Crossing Guards in Texas say they have a new foolproof way of checking if the person's an illegal alien or if he's just an American who's lost his visa. They check the shorts.
Brown in Back: American

written by Bureau, 30 October 2008
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Interest Cut

Yesterday the Fed lowered the key interest rate to one percent. Coincidentally, that's the same percent of the American public who think it will help the economy to bounce back.

written by Bureau, 30 October 2008
Rating:

FEMA Already Ready

Less than a week before the election and this time FEMA has already set up and waiting for the big disaster in Florida.

written by Bureau, 30 October 2008
Rating:

WLTM

Hopeless romantic seeks equally useless woman for doomed relationship

written by Midgetgems, 30 October 2008
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World recession to end tomorrow

Worth a try isn't it?

written by Midgetgems, 30 October 2008
Rating:

Stick 'em Up and 'Pull' Down That Lever Real Slow

A man in Naugatuck, Connecticut fired several gun shots into a Sunoco gasoline pump. Police said the pump was unarmed and was just simply sitting there minding it's busine$$.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 October 2008
Rating:

White House Jobs Available: Must Have Valid Driver's License

Senator Barack Obama says that he will have some Republicans in his cabinet. Joe Biden added, "Yeah they'll be in the cabinet all right...the cabinet beneath the White House kitchen sink!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 October 2008
Rating:

McCain runs out of cash, concedes election

John McCain to enter old-folks home, Joe the Plumber to be Sarah Palin's running mate in 2012 election.

written by fredflange, 30 October 2008
Rating:

Hannah and Miley

Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana are really the same person.The girl's name is Destiny Hope Cyrus but she changed it to Miley Cyrus and she plays Miley Stewart who lives a double life as Hannah Montana.

written by Trudy, 30 October 2008
Rating:

Palin accuses Obama of being radical

She said in an interview that "Obama actually buys his meat from the store instead of killing it himself"

written by disciple, 30 October 2008
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China Food Scare

The Chinese Government is investigating reports that Shrimp was actually found in "Shrimp fried rice" instead of cat and dog meat. Government officials are shocked about these new revelations.

written by disciple, 30 October 2008
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