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McCain Attorneys: Recount Necessary

McCain lawyers demand a recount of the 2008 election. "Certainly, we did not win. But the electoral count is flawed." If the recount is not favorable, Obama will be sued for "embarassing the RNC".

written by DocORock, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Twice Their Normal Size

When asked if Dick Cheney had changed much since being V.P. for the past eight years, Lynne Chaney answered, "The only thing I've noticed is that his balls are twice their size."

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Fidel Castro Pissed

Cuba's Fidel Castro finally able to talk to reporters this morning began with "What's Raul done to piss off all these hurricanes, anyway?"

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
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A Mutt Like Me!

Barack Obama told reporters that his family was looking for a dog for the White House, "A mutt like me". Immediately a crowd gathered and began chanting "A Mutt Like Me!" replacing "Yes We Can!"

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Allergic To Snoopy?

A New York health study claims that early exposure to peanuts may prevent later allergic reactions in kids. But please, at least wait until the little ones have some teeth.

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Unidentifed News Object

Between the latest news about Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan, apparently a spaceship landed and is still sitting there beeping in New York's Central Park.

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Obama Approves Hillary Idea

President-Elect Barack Obama, taking a cue from Hillary, said it might a good idea to give every child born in the USA $5,000. Apparently this is America's answer to Russia's National Conception Day.

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Craig Stalling Again

Senator Larry Craig in an interview on Public Radio Saturday morning tried to give his views on Tuesday's election but the noise coming from adjoining stalls cut the interview short.

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Lifesized Female Doll Recalled

The new Japanese life-like female " Robot For The Lonely Man" is being recalled for loose nuts, bolts, boobs and morals. However, none have been returned as yet.

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Bush To Inform Obama

President Bush says he will meet with President-elect Obama this week to brief him on our situation in Venezuala, Cuba and other close neighbors in nearby Hispania.

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Mattel's Pantsuit Barbie

Just in time for Christmas, Mattel Toys has brought out its new release, "The Sulking Pantsuit Barbie" with extra pantsuits. The model for the matching Ken Doll said "No way will I play that eunoch."

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Readership Down!

The Christian Science Monitor has discontinued it's print edition and has gone totally to the internet where more people will read its contents as you are now, for instance.

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Barack Selecting High Positions

Barack Obama is getting his list together for leading cabinet positions. But, so far, the names of Simon Peter and Judas Iscariot are the only ones that have leaked out.

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Lots of Tears Shed Tuesday Night

Lots of tears shed after the Obama win Tuesday night. In fact, the McCains, Palins and Clintons were at it until 3AM in the morning.

written by Bureau, 08 November 2008
Rating:

North London Man Robbed By Carjacjacker

I didn't see it, says fellow passenger Arsene Wenger.

written by Skoob1999, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Rodney King On Obama Landslide

Yeah, I'm ecstatic, it's a dream fulfilled, but will you please stop hitting me with that baton.

written by Skoob1999, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Questions for McCain

When asked if age had anything to do with his election lost, McCain responded "what election"

written by disciple, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Bush helping with Transition

He is teaching Obama how to have that "stupid look on his face", the one he made famous during his administration.

written by disciple, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Palin says attacks are cruel

Palin said she knew Africa was a continent and not a Country, because it's where "those people" came from

written by disciple, 08 November 2008
Rating:

Roseanne Carter nearly falls

Roseanne Carter very nearly fell into a Burning Ring of Fire earlier this morning... news at 6:00 p.m.

written by JJ Jogolo, 08 November 2008
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