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Cosmetic Factory Explodes

An explosion at a cosmetics factory in Trenton, New Jersey has left 54 woman and 16 men looking like cheap whores.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Bush Pardons Self

President Bush says that he may pardon several people before leaving office, including himself, for his indiscretions at the July 4th John McCain Baked Bean Fundraiser.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
Rating:

New Chain Restaurant A Hit

A new Chain Restaurant opening in the Los Angeles area is proving to be a big hit with bikers!

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
Rating:

A Must Gift

The Sears Company is hoping to raise it's sinking stock by announcing that it will have its new hybrid-microwave oven out just in time for Christmas.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
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Eco In The Congo

Ecologists report that in the Congo, they are conducting an experiment with grapevines as an alternative means of transportation.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
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Naked Man In S.F.

In San Francisco, California, a naked man who claimed he was taking a shower when an earth tremor shook the building he was visiting, still had on his socks.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Oh Bummer!

John McCain has developed a 'chip' on his shoulder. He claims he lost the election "because he was white."

written by IN SEINE, 05 November 2008
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Playboy Finances New Telescope

Hugh Hefner announced this morning that Playboy Magazine Inc, will finance the lauching of the new Hubba Hubba Telescope into space.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
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Kim Jong il Ill

North Korea has finally announced that Kim Jong Il is having health problems. "He's totally paralyzed from the neck up", stated one insider.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Bi-Polar Club At It Again

In Alaska yesterday, the Bi-Polar Club jumped into freezing water in their bathing suits and then quickly ran for their hot tubs. Then they ran back into the icy waters and back again to the hot tubs.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Mom & Pop Store's Stock Now Ten Cents

"Mom & Pop Stores" stock dropped again for the 977th day in a row as seventeen new Wal-Marts opened despite the nation being in a recession.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Voting Problems In Florida Again

According to newspapers in Florida, voters there yesterday were still having problems, even before voting. Instead of standing in line, many were walking around in circles.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Asking For Handouts

A quick poll conducted three days after Halloween shows that most kids who went through their neighborhoods asking for handouts were dressed as bankers and stockbrokers.

written by Bureau, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Government advice on entertaing cats

The UK League of prostitutes have have lodged a complaint about the DeFRA booklet giving advice on how to entertain pets. They say that their 'pussies' should NOT be entertained ...like that!

written by IN SEINE, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Obama Campaign is Inspired

Barak Obama said today the election-winning slogan that he used "We need change", actually came from a drinks vending machine.

written by IN SEINE, 05 November 2008
Rating:

McCain: You want fries with that?

Failed presidential candidate John McCain has announced he is 'going into fast food'. 'Why Not?' he said, Senator Ronald McDonald did nicely after he lost in 1968!'

written by The Big C O Jones, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Mexican Interior Minister killed in a plane crash

Juan Camilo Mourino, the government nemesis of Mexico's powerful drug cartels, was killed today in yet another weirdly expedient plane crash when his aircraft exploded shortly after take-off.

written by Rusty, 05 November 2008
Rating:

"Give Me Five"

A new national study shows that women have a greater variety of bacteria on their hands than men do. However, the same study also found that men scratch their crotches more than women do.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Obama to Pardon OJ

Barack Obama announced that he will pardon OJ Simpson once he takes office as President. "I've always been a fan of The Juice," said Obama. "The man could slice through like no other running back."

written by Warren Redlich, 05 November 2008
Rating:

Mad Doctor

Dr. Herman Testie remains angry at everybody and everything...

written by JJ Jogolo, 05 November 2008
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