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New Search Engine

As porn is the number one use for the internet, it now has its very own search engine: www.go-ogle.xxx; Google are said to be furious that they didn't think of it.

written by IainB, 28 November 2008
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Switzerland's Tourism To Increase 1,000 Per Cent

Switzerland is pioneering a program that will provide prescription heroin. You can hear it now, "Honey run down to the drugstore and pick up a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, and some heroin."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2008
Rating:

British crew escape pirate hijack

Two British security guards escaped from Somali pirates by jumping overboard from a chemical tanker. Their employers are livid: "It's pointless having security guards, if all they do is bugger off."

written by IN SEINE, 28 November 2008
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Man headed world paedophile ring

Well, a child wouldn't.

written by IN SEINE, 28 November 2008
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Icelanders Rioting As Assets Frozen

In Iceland, there were more riots this morning as citizens revolted against the financial crisis there. Police report thrirteen more cases of frostbite as rioting seems to be having a snowball effect.

written by Bureau, 28 November 2008
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Bush Reducing Troops

President Bush, in order to reduce troops in Iraq and Afghanistan before leaving office, stated yesterday "No more fatty foods, heavy desserts, shit on a shingle until slimming down completed."

written by Bureau, 28 November 2008
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Filabuster Channel Closing Down

More bad economic news as "The Filabuster Channel" has fired all it's employees and will completely close down just as soon as the current old fart shuts his yap.

written by Bureau, 28 November 2008
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Country Pissed

NASA has ordered top priority to the urine-to-water machine. "We need to take advantage of the country being this pissed", stated one official.

written by Bureau, 28 November 2008
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Fiber Working For Hillary

Political insiders say that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have a close working relationship. Both credit eating lots of fiber, unisex toilets and eight glasses of water a day.

written by Bureau, 28 November 2008
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GMC Cancels Tiger Woods

General Motors has announced that they have cancelled their contract with Tiger Woods to save some cash. However, a GMC executive added, "But we're not quite out of the woods, yet!"

written by Bureau, 28 November 2008
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Obama Motto Changed

President-Elect, Barack Obama said yesterday that there are no "Quick, easy solutions" for our economy. Apparently "Yes We Can" has already been replaced by, "Yes, We're Canned".

written by Bureau, 28 November 2008
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Attempted Coup In Bissau

Not only the terrorist attack in India, but an attempted coup in Bissau, Guinea-Bissau has many people shaking their heads this morning, asking themselves, "Who or what's a Bissau, Guinea-Bissau?

written by Bureau, 28 November 2008
Rating:

Hey, Grandma You're Tree Smells Kinda Funny

A zoo in Bloomington, Illinois has created Christmas ornaments made from dried reindeer droppings. What's next, cologne made from hippopatamus pee?

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2008
Rating:

A man has been released from Prison after a brief spell as a Kleptomaniac.

He is said to be taken something for it.

written by Ben Macnair, 28 November 2008
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