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A Full-Figured Meteor

Canadian scientists report seeing one of the decades largest meteors. A planetary scientist was asked to describe it, "Gosh, it was gigantic! It looked like Kirstie Alley in a bright orange dress."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Welsh Signwriters Redundant.

Dafydd Ap-griffith and Wyn Lewis-Jones lost their jobs recently when as an economy measure the village of LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLL
GOGERYCHWRYNDROBWL
LLANTYSILIOGOGOGOH was renamed PWLL.

written by jeremy griffiths, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Bank folds!

Because of the global economic crisis, Japan's Origami bank has finally folded.

written by IN SEINE, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Woman found dead

A woman was found dead in London's red light district today, with traces of semen in both ears. A police spokesperson said "She probably heard her killer coming!"

written by IN SEINE, 24 November 2008
Rating:

UPS Invest

UPS is to invest in Euros as part of their global infkuence. The project will be known as UP-EUROS.

written by IN SEINE, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Zawahari Taps Social Networking Site

A video by Mr. Zawahri, Al Qaeda's second-ranking operative, has recently turned up on Utube.web,
Citing decreasing numbers of suicidal volunteers, Zawahari said he is eager to tap a new source.

written by Rinaldi, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Vatican Forgives John Lennon

The Vatican has officially forgiven John Lennon for his radical religious remarks in the 1960's, but for the breaking up of the Beatles, thirty more years in purgatory.

written by Bureau, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Manilow Listening Cruel

A judge in Fort Lupton, Colorado has sentenced noise ordinance violators to listen to Barry Manilow, but their lawyers have appealed to a higher court saying this was a cruel and unusual punishment.

written by Bureau, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Green About The Gills

As Wall Street prepared for yet another "pivotal week", most stockbrokers appeared a little green about the gills from the past two months of pivoting.

written by Bureau, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Obama: Religious Gym Meditations

Unlike past presidents, President-elect Barack Obama skipped church Sunday to go to the gym. "It's just so much more peaceful over here than at Rev. Wright's", observed Obama.

written by Bureau, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Urine-To-Water Screwed-Up

Astronauts continue to tinkle with the "Urine-To-Water" machine, while here on earth, the politicians continue to screw with us, "Water-To-Urine" devices.

written by Bureau, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Historians Name 2008

Historians say that with all the bailouts of companies this year may be known in history as either "The Panic of 2008" or as "The Picnic of 2008".

written by Bureau, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Student Arrested For Farting

The Stuart, Georgia youth who was arrested last week for passing gas to disrupt the class has told the judge at the hearing that he thought the class had been given a pop quiz.

written by Bureau, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Deja Vu

A new study finds that Ginkgo Biloba does not prevent memory loss. The same study was done by the same group twice before.

written by Bureau, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Real Santa

Kids are beginning to watch the evening news and now suspect that the Santa is not the one at the mall, but that the real Santa Claus lives in Washington, DC.

written by Bureau, 24 November 2008
Rating:

The Colorado Decibel Decree

A Colorado judge punishes noise ordinance violators by making them listen to Barry Manilow Music for an hour. And for a second violation he'll force them to listen to songs by Amy Winehouse."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Guns N' Roses (Not Made in China)

China says that the new Guns N' Roses album entitled, "Chinese Democracy' is a venomus attack on China. Rosie O'Donnell remarked, "Ching ping wing pong ching chang chow."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Darwin Award Revoked

This year's Darwin Award Winner, Mike O'Phone, who won after bungee jumping with a tow-rope had it rescinded when it was discovered he had already contributed to the gene pool, he had had three kids.

written by IainB, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Dyslexics Untie!

The National Dyslexics Association (DNA) meeting had to be abandoned today when five of the guest speakers fell ill after eating bowls of soap.

written by IainB, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Buy Yourself Something Nice - Love Darling xxx

Trainee Chancellor Alistair Darling said today he will visit every home in the country and 'slip a tenner in the arse pocket of every honest Englishman' if they promise to vote Labour next time.

written by The Big C O Jones, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Pedants meeting

Infiltrators into the recent National Association of Pedants meeting in Manchester were spotted when they turned up two minutes early.

written by IainB, 24 November 2008
Rating:

The Never-Ending Bailout Handout Line...

Citigroup to receive a $20 billion bailout from the U.S. Next in line for bailout handouts: Starbucks, Revlon, Krispy Kreme, The Detroit Lions, SeaWorld, The Dixie Chicks, and the country of Peru.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 November 2008
Rating:

I'll have a Coke please

With the announcement of NASA's "urine into water machine", a spokesperson for Budweiser said, "What's the big deal? We've been turning water into piss for years".

written by Wickham Chase, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Govt. Bailout of Knotty Ash Treacle Mine

Ken Dodd's personal intervention swings bailout of local treacle mine, jobs of 412 Diddy Men saved! It was a sticky situation, but everything is sweet now, gushed a jubilant Doddy.

written by jeremy griffiths, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Brown in Citibank / Shittibank Gaffe

An obviously tired and emotional Gordon Brown slipped up today, when he refered to Citibank, as Shittibank, "they run a slick operation, no flies on them" he said.

written by jeremy griffiths, 24 November 2008
Rating:

Colgate snaps up Woolies

Colgate denied that it bought Woolworths to preserve the Pick 'n Mix operation. "No sweets, no need for toothpaste is nonsense, they are our biggest retailers of 3 for 2 packs" claimed MD Jo Brand.

written by jeremy griffiths, 24 November 2008
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