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Oprah Goes Home In Shopping Bag

Olympic Weightlifting star Shoeeesha Jenkins of Armpitflab Pennsylvania saw Oprah Winfrey at the market today and put her in a plastic bag and went home. She just said "Okra Windbag" and left with her. Detectives are trying to find out why.

written by David Hawkins, 01 May 2008
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Bush Retires Plans For Dictatorship

George Bush told reporters he doesn't plan to pursue dictatorship of the United States after 2008 but will work on becoming a stand up comedian or a wedding contortionist. "I'm tard of all this dicktaterin' so both orfins are out in the stable, options still on the table."

written by David Hawkins, 01 May 2008
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