There were 42 spoof news snippets published in May 2008. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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UK Knife Crime?

Concerns are mounting in Britain that simply 'Looking Daggers' at Someone can be considered a knife crime and is punishable by five years in prison.

written by IN SEINE, 29 May 2008
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PTSD

Medical researchers have discovered that people from Warsaw were the first people in the world to suffer a certain disorder from seeing atrocities - yes Poles were the first to display POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER!

written by IN SEINE, 08 May 2008
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Livngstone has lost Erection

The Tokyo Times has reported that London Mayor, Ken Livingstone has lost his erection!

written by norma snockers, 03 May 2008
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What a Waste!

American Medical Scientists have determined that the average male member is 6 inches long, and the average female orifice is 8 inches deep? So in New York City alone there is over 2 miles of unused pussy!

written by norma snockers, 03 May 2008
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Co-Founder of Ice Cream Parlor Chain Passes Away At Age 90

Surviving founders Mr. Baskin, Mr. Robbins, and Mr. Flavors all say that they will miss Mr. 31.

written by Jalapenoman, 07 May 2008
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The Earth will be destroyed at 8:00 p.m. this evening

Film at eleven

written by Jalapenoman, 15 May 2008
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Surety is a Certainty

According to the government, a taxpayer is someone who has what it takes.

written by IN SEINE, 30 May 2008
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President Bush responds to death, disaster, and destruction caused by Chinese earthquakes

"I hope all them star's handprints and footprints in front of that theatre survived."

written by Jalapenoman, 15 May 2008
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Researchers study women who say "If I knew you were comin', I'd have baked a cake."

Test results show that no dessert would have ever been prepared with fair warning and that the females would still have insisted on being taken out for dinner.

written by Jalapenoman, 15 May 2008
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British Scientists create new animal

Scientists from Hitchin, Hertfordshire England, have successfully created a flea from scratch today.

written by IN SEINE, 17 May 2008
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Ted Kennedy eating well.

Latest reports are that Senator Edward Kennedy is sitting up in his hospital bed eating a healthy meal of salad - 'Seizure Salad'.

written by IN SEINE, 21 May 2008
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Poison Cake Lady Spared Prison

A Gloucestershire lady who murdered her husband with a cake laced with rat poison has escaped a jail term just in case someone bakes her a fruitcake with a file in it.

written by IN SEINE, 28 May 2008
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Bad Hair Day

May 2nd 2008 will go down in history as a bad hair day in politics - not only did Labour suffer massive losses, Nick Clegg of the Lib/Dems and Boris Johnson also had bad hair days.

written by IN SEINE, 03 May 2008
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Fall of Rome?

Historians have discovered that the fall of the Roman Empre was partly because the people who ran the Roman Coliseum just couldn't make any money. The lions kept eating all the prophets.

written by IN SEINE, 21 May 2008
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Riot

Today a riot broke out at the Grand theatre, Wolverhampton, England. During the performance of a pantomime held on behalf of Paranoids Anonymous. The trouble started when someone shouted: "He's behind you!"

written by IN SEINE, 11 May 2008
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Russian Fast Food Outlets to open in UK

London, England: Petr Czarinoivsky, a Moscow millionaire has just opened a small chain of fast food shops selling flat pastries topped with red cabbage and cheese topping. They will be known as 'Pete Czar Huts'.

written by IN SEINE, 13 May 2008
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Conjoined Twins fight One Laptop Per Child ruling

"We only have one pair of hands!" said twins Rosie and Rhina today after hearing that OLPC were refusing to budge on their strict One Laptop rule.

written by ScottThe Dot, 29 May 2008
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Spirals spiral out of control

'There's nothing we can do about it' said James 'Spiral' McSpiral. "They are simply a geometric shape with no control mechanism whatsoever."

written by ScottThe Dot, 30 May 2008
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Currys.digital shops facing axe

Most shops were closed today displaying a notice saying 'Error 404 the shop you were looking for is not found.'

written by ScottThe Dot, 15 May 2008
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Ted Kennedy still 'not guilty' after seizure

"You'll never prove it!" shouted the former winner of the Chappaquidick Bad Driver of the Year Award.

written by ScottThe Dot, 18 May 2008
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Brown accepts McDonalds job

Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown has accepted a job taking orders at McDonalds. He joins former Mayor Ken Livingstone, who is flipping burgers at the Peckham branch.

written by parveen liddy, 03 May 2008
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Lorries 'driven by lorry drivers'

Congestion caused by poor driving and accidents, a report suggests, could be caused by the fact that lorries are driven by lorry drivers, notorious for their aggression, boorishness and lack of intelligence. Poets, due to their intellect and temperament, would make ideal replacements.

written by Simon Cockle, 28 May 2008
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Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus.

written by Simon Cockle, 28 May 2008
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Top Right corner of TheSpoof to be privatised

This space is about to be taken over in a new PFI initiative. You will still be able to see it but in 5 years we will send you a huge bill for the privilege.

written by ScottThe Dot, 21 May 2008
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Bush Retires Plans For Dictatorship

George Bush told reporters he doesn't plan to pursue dictatorship of the United States after 2008 but will work on becoming a stand up comedian or a wedding contortionist. "I'm tard of all this dicktaterin' so both orfins are out in the stable, options still on the table."

written by David Hawkins, 01 May 2008
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Oprah Goes Home In Shopping Bag

Olympic Weightlifting star Shoeeesha Jenkins of Armpitflab Pennsylvania saw Oprah Winfrey at the market today and put her in a plastic bag and went home. She just said "Okra Windbag" and left with her. Detectives are trying to find out why.

written by David Hawkins, 01 May 2008
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McCain denies being rude to wife

"All I said was 'See you next Tuesday' and she went off on one. I never called her anything, the silly b**ch'

written by ScottThe Dot, 02 May 2008
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Woman Sees Image Of Toast In Jesus' Face

Sister Bertha McFrookkin of St. Curley's Three Sided Catholic Church in Hesperia California was staring at the Jesus statue in the church and clear as day, a miracle in the form of the shape of a piece of toast appeared on his face.

written by David Hawkins, 02 May 2008
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Is John McCain Insane? Docs Test Says Yes!

Insane in the membrane. Doctors at Idaho's Mr. Potatohead Psychiatric Clinic finish a 4 day test of John McCain's brain and determined his is equivalent to a microwaved ant on LSD & is predicted to act as kooky as Bush or Cheney.

written by David Hawkins, 03 May 2008
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Student Counts Times Obama's Name Is Said, Wins Math Prize

Dexter Claponclapoff from Maine discovered the longest number ever recorded, by writing a program on his PC whcih counts how many times the word Obama is used in 12 hours of TV viewing. He was awarded the first Nobel Prize for Math ever given.

written by David Hawkins, 03 May 2008
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Times Square to be renamed Comic Sans Square

New York Mayor Elliot Screwzer today confirmed the name change to the iconic landmark. 'It just seems a bit friendlier..you know..more jokey', he said whilst paying £3000 an hour to some skank.

written by ScottThe Dot, 04 May 2008
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Son Steps on Crack, Breaks Mom's Back

Irresponsible action by 8-year-old Tommy Jetpack results in mom being a quadriplegic. "I can't make macaroni and cheese for you anymore," she blinks.

written by Heewack, 12 May 2008
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Jenna Bush 'No Longer a Virgin,' White House Says

"She is now a woman," White House press secretary Dana Perino said in statement. "I can confirm that her new husband gave it to her good over the weekend."

written by Heewack, 12 May 2008
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Rice Krispies to split up

The famous trio of Snap, Crackle and Pop are to go their separate ways according to their agent. The split is being put down to 'musical differences.'

written by ScottThe Dot, 12 May 2008
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Cherie Blair forgets contraceptive kit

Blair admitted to having not taken it to Balmoral, due to embarrassment. 'Carrying around a Paper bag with two holes in it is not something you do in front of the Queen.' she said.

written by ScottThe Dot, 12 May 2008
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Barack ready to take oath

Today president hopefull Barack Obama announced "If I become your next elected President, this will be an Obama-nation"

written by Kevlar, 15 May 2008
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U.S. Air Force Relieved Over Costly Urination Problem

Two U.S. Air Force jets have crashed in the past because of pissing problems! Now, with a newly-developed peeing method for male or female jet pilots, the problem of taking a leak at 1000-2000 mph will no longer piss off the top U.S. fly boys!

written by Natowsky, 17 May 2008
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Internet History Revealed

Developed by O.J Simpson as a means to "find the real killer".

written by kegoguinness, 20 May 2008
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Former Muppet Show Puppeteer Jailed for Theft

Convenience store cameras capture his sock-festooned hand stealing Snickers bars.

written by kegoguinness, 20 May 2008
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Beer-a-myd Collapses in College Dorm Room

Eleven freshmen and a Vietnamese pot-belly pig injured

written by kegoguinness, 20 May 2008
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Kristy Allen's Weight Gain

Kristy's new morbid obesity cause is revealed to be that she actually ate Jenny Craig, with some chocolate sauce.

written by mumcoyote, 26 May 2008
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Burma: was Burma involved?

The UN is investigating the possibility that Burma's reluctance to help its own people as a result of Cyclone Nargis could be linked to Burma's reluctance to help its own people as a result of Cyclone Nargis.

written by Simon Cockle, 28 May 2008
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