Spoof news snippets from Saturday 22 March 2008
$1,350 cornflake sold on ebay narrowingly outshined stool sample baked as a biscuit
It's not even time for the Darwin awards yet but two sisters (admitted flakes) proved that inherent brain damage can be as profitable as the image of Jesus in oatmeal.
New Zealand geneticists embark to revolutionize sheep farts
Doug Rutherford mistakenly unlocked gaseous secrets of anal alchemy during a standard procedure of metering cow flatulence when one of his sheep specimens began to seep the succulent smell of pancakes
Kansas geologist makes startling discovery
Renown geologist and cave proctologist Herb Pettigrew was surveying several tracks of land with incendiary lubricants when he unearthed a geode with a warm baked potato inside.
Aesthetic terrorism? British author Sebastian Horsley denied entrance into the U.S.
On the grounds of "moral turpitude" and hypocritical grinds of their own atavistic xenophobia contracted from vultures that prey on our counterculture bringing our terror alert level to periwinkle.
Cadillac attempts to entice elderly drivers with an innovative automobile
It is a light economical car that also doubles as a casket making the funerals of reckless, mentally alienated drivers as feasible as a rustic redneck burying a relative in their backyard.
Shock jocks Don Imus and drug-addled-gasbag Rush Limbaugh go head to head
Radio blowhard Don Imus, known for his "Nappy headed ho's" comment and perhaps more famous for resembling an anus has signed a deal with Don King to battle Limbaugh for the ultimate brown crown.