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$1,350 cornflake sold on ebay narrowingly outshined stool sample baked as a biscuit

It's not even time for the Darwin awards yet but two sisters (admitted flakes) proved that inherent brain damage can be as profitable as the image of Jesus in oatmeal.

written by Wordsmith, 22 March 2008
Rating:

New Zealand geneticists embark to revolutionize sheep farts

Doug Rutherford mistakenly unlocked gaseous secrets of anal alchemy during a standard procedure of metering cow flatulence when one of his sheep specimens began to seep the succulent smell of pancakes

written by Wordsmith, 22 March 2008
Rating:

Kansas geologist makes startling discovery

Renown geologist and cave proctologist Herb Pettigrew was surveying several tracks of land with incendiary lubricants when he unearthed a geode with a warm baked potato inside.

written by Wordsmith, 22 March 2008
Rating:

Aesthetic terrorism? British author Sebastian Horsley denied entrance into the U.S.

On the grounds of "moral turpitude" and hypocritical grinds of their own atavistic xenophobia contracted from vultures that prey on our counterculture bringing our terror alert level to periwinkle.

written by Wordsmith, 22 March 2008
Rating:

Cadillac attempts to entice elderly drivers with an innovative automobile

It is a light economical car that also doubles as a casket making the funerals of reckless, mentally alienated drivers as feasible as a rustic redneck burying a relative in their backyard.

written by Wordsmith, 22 March 2008
Rating:

Shock jocks Don Imus and drug-addled-gasbag Rush Limbaugh go head to head

Radio blowhard Don Imus, known for his "Nappy headed ho's" comment and perhaps more famous for resembling an anus has signed a deal with Don King to battle Limbaugh for the ultimate brown crown.

written by Wordsmith, 22 March 2008
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