Spoof news snippets from Friday 14 March 2008
In an indiscriminate act of violence, the master copy of the dictionary of the English Language was today destroyed in a terrorist attack. The Prime Minister issued the following statement shortly afterwards. "Hyyysggd jsgd hyegft gbbccv. Ouerrnfh hef hsgd, kjrwe knue."
Friction equals fire!
A stunning new development today led to the discovery that rubbing two wooden sticks together caused them to ignite.
Flying man mystery
City-goers were left stunned as a man dressed in some kind of costume inexplicably flew past the capital early this morning. Eye-witnesses describe the man as looking heroic, although he didn't actually do anything.
The New Black
Today, scientists revealed what has been officially approved to be the new black. After countless days of science, the answer came as a shock to many in the fashion world. The new black, is in fact, green.
Fleiss, Lewinsky, and Dupre Form New Group, "The 3 Prosties"
In the wake of the Spitzer scandal, three prominent "fun ladies" have teamed up, dedicated to legalizing men's right to a little something on the side. "Hey," said Dupre, "let 'em get their rocks off, man!" Eliot Spitzer's comment, "At least, I paid cash!"
Spoof Editor under Police Watch
Following the discovery of a severed horse turd in Spoof editor Mark Lowton's bed, police have kept his house under constant surveillance. It's believed the Turdish mafia is behind it.
Baby Bear says no more
In a statement released today, Baby Bear has announced his retirement. From now on, anyone using his name in connection with Goldilocks will be taken to court.
After a long and arduous standoff in the mountains of Denali, the Nuns have finally signed a peace accord with the native penguins.