Spoof news snippets from Monday 28 January 2008
Rush Limbaugh spotted outside RP Anonymous meeting
Media elites are seeking an outlet as they try to repress any supportive thoughts of Ron Paul. Ron Paul Anonymous is one such outlet. Limbaugh admitted, "I just need somewhere to say this stuff so that it doesn't accidentally come out on the air!"
Since 1980, there has been a Bush or Clinton in the White House as President or Vice President
If Hillary wins the Presidency, she will double the tradition by being a Clinton with a bush.
Racism "more acceptable now than ever"
Political correctness has become so endemic that racism is now seen as more socially acceptable than "saying the right thing". The comments come from David Irving, the holocaust denier, who suggested "are we going to have to go through with the whole racism thing yet again?"
"You" are stupid
A new survey published today suggests that "you" are really unintelligent. The survey, carried out by "us" reveals that "you" are pathetic, uninteresting and, in exceptional circumstances, a "cxxt"
President Bush's First Draft of his Final State of the Union Address
"When I was part owner of the Texas Rangers baseball team I got hit in the head with a baseball at spring training and ever since I've never been the same..."
Mitt Romney Talking the Talk Prior to Florida Primary
Talking to Cuban Americans in Little Havana, Romney said, "For dirty-one years I been in bizness and I know you doan make much money, 'cept I gonna change dat for you man, juss like that thins will change in dis place if you vote for me cus sone-thin like dat is not right, man."
Personalised Number Plate
Magistrate and internet entrepreneur extrordinaire has offered cheap legal name changes to reduce the cost of personalised number plates, he will change your name to UAG for only £25
Action man goes west!
Makers of 'Action Man' have announced the children's favourite will be soon returning to stores. Makers believe that 'Jake' and 'Tom', will make the subject of homosexual relationships easier to accept. Accessories available include lumberjack clothing and removable moustaches.