Spoof news snippets from Friday 25 January 2008
National Football League Star Wants Name Change
Kansas City Chiefs tight end, Tony Gonzalez, and recently turned vegan thinks the word 'pigskin' as in football should be dropped. "We play four quarters, so how about calling it 'fourskin'? Then no one's sensibilities are hurt."
Hillary Ditching the 70's Retro look prior to South Carolina Primary
In a bid to win over black voters in the important SC primary, Senator Clinton is going to wear extra bling, have her hair done in corn rows and wear a hip hop pant suit. A Clinton spokesman said, "Hill's no ho to mess with, you know what I'm saying!"
Gordon Brown attracted to Virgin in Far East
While in China Brown is purported to have said, "the best bid on the table is from the Virgin." No word yet from his Wife Sarah, mother of his two sons.
Celebrities endorsing John McCain include:
Zsa Zsa Gabor (88), Phyllis Diller (90), Ernest Borgnine (91), Richard Widmark (93), Kirk Douglas (91), Mickey Rooney (87), Lena Horne (90), and Karl Malden (95). The Senator said he is pleased to have their support and "hopes they'll be around in November to vote"
Bay Closes as Obama, Clinton collide
Newport Bay was closed after Senators Obama and Clinton collided into one another during a pre-press conference restroom break. An eye witness reported "horrible rhetoric" strewn in the vicinity of the collision.