Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 2 January 2008
Mary-Kate Olsen Endorses Sports Shake...
Later discovers "A Protein Shake for Mary-Kate" only a porn film title.
New Year's Revellers Sickened at Times Square
More than 300 people fell ill welcoming the New Year in Times Square due to a chemical in the "Made in China" goofy looking 2008 glasses people were wearing.
Star Wars Abroad
In an effort to improve his image abroad, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is considering changing his name to Darth Vader.
"In my last conversation with God, I was told that Charles Manson is a Mormon," claims Presidential hopeful, Huckabee.
President Sarkozy, just back from vacationing with his Italian model "friend", said he learned all about Fellini and grappa. The shape of his trench coat suggested he wasn't talking about movies and wine.
Bill Clinton was spotted coming out of an NYC store with a red dress, cigar and Altoids. No word when "snow bunny" Monica is due back from the Poconos.
Mugabe on Kenya
President Mugabe of Zimbabwe has offered "his integrity and honesty" to mediate the election result dispute in Kenya.
Beckham set for a very homo new year
Following remarks that David Beckham knows he's a gay icon, George Michael has offered to "drop trough" and "wave a white towel" for David.
Sara Jane Moore who attempted to assassinate President Ford was released from prison Monday.
She said it was harder to assassinate political leaders in her time than it is today. "Those days, you needed a gun, today all you need is a sunroof."
Hillary in Iowa
To woo Iowan voters Senator Clinton has been walking around with a piece of straw in her mouth. Reminiscent of her husband, she claims to "chew but not swallow."