Spoof news snippets from Sunday 3 February 2008
No Olympics For Chad
The International Olympic Committee has decided not to consider Chad for the Summer Olympics of 2032 due to the current unrest.
Fridge magnets "are not attractive"
A new report has suggested that fridge magnets "do not attract humans". "They are not wanted," said Professor Dusty Folds of Harvard. They are, however, attracted to fridges, the report concludes.
Missing link is "the Missing Link"
Scientists have identified a small semi-circular piece of metal as the "Missing Link". The search, that has occupied the scientific community for many centuries, means that they can now piece together the "chain" that has puzzled them for so long.
"It was an accident" admits Woof Around the Edges Brewery
Today, the CEO of the brewing company made the confession that a batch of their beer causes rabies. In an accidental mix-up, large rabid dogs were inadvertently introduced during the brewery's unique brewing process which uses dogs to give their beer a real earthy flavour.
"It's just a mask" says Kate Bush
In a shocking development, singer Kate Bush has revealed that she is in fact a extra-terrestrial being from Venus. "I am tired of living a lie, and I hope that my fans will accept the real me," she warbled today.