Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 20 February 2008
Child Psychology 101
If a child lies or misbehaves don't waste each others time telling them the story about the boy that cried wolf, they heard that one a thousand times. Tell them the story about the boy that cried hamster and woke up the next day as a hermaphrodite.
Word of the day
Harry: a militant name maimed with the framed correlation of being hirsute, hairy or dead end situation. Example: The hare harried the farmer with a harangue of varmint vernacular, badgering him until he burst into flames.
Life becomes more bizarre the closer one gets to the equator
National Geographic circumnavigate towards the equator to discover dogs that spin webs, venomous duck billed platypuses, flying manatees, stingrays, rabid corvettes, sock puppets, poison spitting cobras and hermaphroditic geese.
Blue whale gynecology a teenage fad?
It's the dawn of preadolescent chaos where facial tissues are rife with oil, prompting a draft mandating that all teenagers be rounded up and expedited to petroleum plants around the world while others spelunk through a blue whales vaginal cavern.
Hip Hop waits patiently for the 2pacalypse
Los Angeles CA- Scores of fervent followers were admonished by seismologists to evacuate after several major 6.3 earthquakes but refused to leave claiming that it was merely the bass reverberating beyond 2pacs grave.
"Global Warming" to be auctioned
With the recent outbreak of polar bears shaving each others backs, the notion of "Global Warming" has become viably profitable. Environmentalists are to auction off the phrase "Global Warming," all proceeds going to all Ninja Convents for Great White Sharks.
George W and The Spoof
George W bush has publicly announced that he now reads 'The Spoof' instead of The Washington Post. "It is more factual and I am in it a lot more" he said. Aw bless!
Shergar's remains found
Over a quarter of a century on, the remains of racehorse Shergar has been found in woodland in Ireland. A single bullet hole in the skull have led local police to believe that it was suicide.
58 year old mother of 31 children says "It's time I got up"
Lottery winner is dyslexic
Ryan Jones of Cardiff who won £23,462,172.04 on the national lottery was astonshed. "I picked 01,31,12,23,04 and 24," he said. "The winning numbers were 10,13,21,32,40 and 42!"
Macca court battle
Sir Paul Macartney left court smiling today. "She hasn't got a leg to stand on" he said.
Castro To Open Castro Gambling Casinos and Restore Cuba To Greatness!
He was the master of Cuba for 48 years, but crafty Fidel will open 25 casinos modeled on Las Vegas. "It's time to screw Communism! I'm going to restore Havana to its former glory! Slots, roulette, craps, and prostitutes - we can compete with Vegas!"