Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 12 February 2008
McCain accuses Huckabee of being a scatological liar
"You just have to listen to the crap he says."
Mexico To Claim U.S. For Incorporation By 2022.-Many Americans Expected To Flee!
The huge daily influx of illegals from Mexico is now unstoppable...by 2022, over 200,000,000 strong and taking control of Congress. All this will lead to Mexico's claim on the U.S. "One Greater Mexico" will emerge and Spanish will be the official language. Many Americans are already leaving.
Rabbi's Research Leads To The "10 Lost Tribes Of Israel"
Joel Benzon was fascinated by the 10 lost tribes of Israel of the 12 total. As a rabbi, his 48 years of research have now identified 9 as being in the San Fernando Valley of California, near LA. The 10th is "The Tribe" (Cleveland Indians). Benzon's new book, "The Tribal Code," details all his work.
Louisiana Purchase Treaty May Be Invalid-France Enraged
National Archives now saying the signature of the Louisiana Purchase Treaty's French rep, Barbé Marbois, is a blank space. France demanding return of the 828,000 square miles. President Bush responded with, "No way, Frenchy, but, I'll check with Cheney to see if we're prepared to start another war."
Bill, Hillary, and Monica Try To Break Bread Together, But Fail
Imagine makeup time between Hillary and Monica at Luigi's in Georgetown, reserved for just the three by Bill. Soon, Mr. Clinton was gone, while the two women went at it. Hillary suffered a broad facial scrape, before the Secret Service was able to stop the fracas, while engaged in riotous laughter.
Guyco Execs Mourn Loss Of Star Gecko
Tragedy struck during filming of the latest Guyco Gecko TV commercial at Gibney's Gators in Florida. A soundman accidentally knocked the obnoxious lizard into the open-mouthed gator, Gung-ho Charlie. In seconds, the 13-foot long reptile had finished his unexpected snack.