Kayakers Chased by Shark
5 Australian canoeists were circled by a Great White Shark near Melbourne today. Meanwhile, 5 scousers were cicled by a loan shark in a Liverpool pub. All were shaken, but none were hurt.
Bernanke and Paulson Demand Final Tip
In a secret closed door session of "whatever" with the congress, Bernanke and Paulson have demanded a final 100 Trillion Chinese AmerO Tip to spend on what ever they want, or martial law.
The Yellowstone 'Shake'
A total of 250 small earthquakes have rocked Wyoming's Yellowstone National Park for the third straight day. A geophysicist said "If this keeps up the park is liable to end up down in Colorado."
President George 'Shoe Shy' Bush
President Bush has said that his next overseas trip will be to Japan. He told reporters, "Over there, everybody leaves their shoes outside."
Eau de Recession
Parisian perfume giant Chanel has laid off 200 employees due to the recession. It plans to downsize even more. Next month Chanel No. 5 will become Chanel No. 3.
"Supernanny" Jo Frost to broker Mid-East peace deal
No-nonsense English nanny and star of hit reality TV series Supernanny flies to Gaza to lend her superior skills in bringing peace to Mid-East siblings Israel and Palestine.
Paris arrives in Melbourne
Socialite Paris Hilton flew into Melbourne yesterday. She was treated for minor injuries and later let go. However, 40 other people were killed.
South Africa wins
Australia today was defeated by South Africa in the latest Up Side Down Run'em Through with Steel international. The Proteas were far too dominant and won by 23 wonkles to 6.Australia will appeal.
Honors for Zimbabwe
Zimbabwe was voted to have the best drinking water for the "Terminally ill who support Euthanasia"