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TV Presenter bitten

Chat show host Paul O'Grady has suffered a bite on his arm after being attacked by an adder at home. The snake was rushed to hospital suffering a trauma, but is expected to make a full recovery.

written by IN SEINE, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Weightwatchers relocates to Nuneaton.

Weightwatchers have completed their move to Nuneaton Warwickshire. "It is both a physical and phychological move for us" commented M.T. Smeg- Kelvinator for the company.

written by jeremy griffiths, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Gender Reassignment Conference in Scunthorpe.

The 2009 Gender Reassignment Conference will be held at the Isaac Hunt Memorial Suite, Scunthorpe. Leading plastic surgeon Prof. Dick Todger will open proceedings.

written by jeremy griffiths, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Incarnation Revelation

A leading Buddhist, who claims that in his last life he was a Guernsey Cow, told the Sun yesterday that grass tastes just like chicken.

written by Bureau, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Bush Blames Lack Of Intelligence

President George Bush told Charles Gibson on ABC News yesterday that he blamed lack of proper intelligence for our getting so mired down in Iraq. Gibson quickly agreed.

written by Bureau, 03 December 2008
Rating:

McCain Wins Again

President-elect Barack Obama continues to place more people in important offices today, while John McCain celebrates his winning a second straight victory in the Orlando, Florida Shuffleboard Meet.

written by Bureau, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Dalia Lama Ding-Dong

Yesterday the Dalia Lama addressed a college group in Berkeley, California and demonstrated how to riot peacefully.

written by Bureau, 03 December 2008
Rating:

World Health Organisation warning

The World Health Organisation have issued the following warning today: Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

written by IN SEINE, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Brushclearing For Humanity

President Bush says he intends to stay very busy after retirement. Instead of help building houses like ex-President Carter, he's planning to join emergency fire crews by helping to clear brush.

written by Bureau, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Bernie Getting Pretty Ripe

The latest gossip from Hollywood says that Bernie has now became so ripe that they have officially cancelled anymore Weekend sequels.

written by Bureau, 03 December 2008
Rating:

And In Local News

And here in Podunk, Pennsylvania we got word this morning that our 200 church members on their ocean cruise has decided against having potlucks.

written by Bureau, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Sonny And Dry

Another weatherman commits suicide in Palm Springs, Calif. Leaves note: "Sunny and Dry! Sunny and Dry! Every single freaking day! I think Sonny Bono hit that tree on prupose!"

written by Bureau, 03 December 2008
Rating:

200 Colorful Nixon Quotes

Released Wednesday was another 200 hours of recorded White House tapes from the Nixon era featuring Nixon and Agnew cursing democrats, Viet Nam, Chairman Mao and hippies, plus a cute song from Tricia.

written by Bureau, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Damian Green exonerated

Damian Green has been exonerated after a leak about the investigation into the leak investigation was investigated and found to be a leak.

written by IainB, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Tights Down, Shirts Up!

Tights were down today in Boots as raw Nylon prices plummeted, whilst shirts were up in Chester after the US cotton crop failed.

written by jeremy griffiths, 03 December 2008
Rating:

New York Jets Quarterback Brett (blank)

New York Jets quarterback Brett Favre has finally admitted that his family has been misspelling his last name. The name is pronounced 'Farve' which is actually the correct spelling of his last name.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Alexander The Great Inventor

Recently discovered documents clearly prove that Alexander Hamilton did in fact invent the Hamilton Beach Blender.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Chrysler: The Crybaby

The Chrysler Corporation has been shameful in asking for a govermental bailout. One senator shook his head and suggested that they change their name to 'Crysler.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Michael Vick: The Ex-Pit Bull Man

NFL quarterback Michael Vick says when he gets out of prison he's buying French Poodles. He added, "No more pit bulls for me, from now on my dogs will be poodles...they don't fight, they just kiss."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 December 2008
Rating:

Remember Mr. Avery, It's Witches With a 'B'

The National Hockey League suspends Dallas Stars forward Sean Avery because he referred to his ex-girlfriends as 'bitches.' He now realizes he should have referred to them as 'misspelled witches.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 December 2008
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