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Rating:

More elderly Japanese turn to petty crime

In an attempt to reduce Elder Crime the Japanese have started a new Kamikaze program, targeting Japanese Nursing Homes

written by disciple, 24 December 2008
Rating:

Santa Clause Arrested

He was charged with "bestiality" and cruelty to animals after being caught with Rudolf in a Lewd act.

written by disciple, 24 December 2008
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Alternative to Queen's Speech on Immigrant TV

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will deliver the alternative to the Queen's Christmas Day speech this year on Immigrant TV. The speech will also be shown on Channel 4.

written by IN SEINE, 24 December 2008
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Comedian Frank Skinner to make programme on swearing

UK Comedian Frank Skinner is to make a special edition of BBC's Panorama programme about swearing on television. It will be 24 hours long and will only feature last week's BBC programmes.

written by IN SEINE, 24 December 2008
Rating:

Royal Family Suffers Shits & Sickness

The Queen´s Christmas turkey is to make the traditional speech after her Majesty & Prince Philip came down with the Norovirus. "I will be inserting a Royal Cork in the Duke´s arse." She said.

written by Fuctifino, 24 December 2008
Rating:

Postman's Sack Savaged.

The two Rottweilers that savaged a postman delivering Christmas mail admitted it was the best Christmas present they'd ever had.

written by Fuctifino, 24 December 2008
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Unknown Shooter Mad About Something

A report from the north pole says that on a trial run over the United States last night an unknown person has shot Santa Claus in the face.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Something After Schwarzenegger

In California this morning, eyewitnesses say something big and slimey crawled out of the La Brea Tar Pits and began chasing Governor Schwarzenegger.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Confused Jimmy Carter

A very confused Jimmy Carter has been found wandering around Georgia looking for Russians. Police say he keeps repeating, "They've got Billy and Mama."

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Nigerian Bank Prospering

The First National Bank Of Nigeria say their fifth quarter earnings are up nearly 50 percent but you need to invest as soon as possible.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Rodney Still No Respect

Rodney Dangerfield is still getting no respect as his grave is daily pooped on while people are out walking dogs through cemetery and cats marking territory.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Texas Law Ruled Cruel

The Supreme Court ruled 5-4 yesterday that the Texas "Praying For Death" sentence was cruel and unusual punishment.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Mormons Protest Cartoons

Riots continued into the third day in a row in Phoenix, Arizona as Mormons protest Joseph Smith cartoons in the Phoenix Sun.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Lawn Chair Balloonist Feared Lost

Helium balloonist in lawn chair believe lost after balloons stray over Washington, DC and sudden hot air gusts launched him 20,000 feet up.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Trail Easy To Follow

Rescuers first on the scene report that the big rock that fell on missing mountain climber near summit made an imprint of his body in the snow all the way down the mountainside.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Utah Residents Losing Homes

Thousands in Utah lose their homes as the Mormon Church investigation reveals thousands are up to three year's behind in tithes and penalties.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Autopsy Completed

The autopsy is now complete on last week's school shooter as doctors reveal that the suspect had a past history of heavy wedging.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Notre Dame Preseason Favorite

In sports, it was announced this morning that next season Notre Dame will play an exhibition football game against the College of Cardinals.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Fisticuffs In Afghanistan

The American Conservative Magazine says that there could be further fisticuffs happening between the United States and Afghanistan in the future.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Rating:

Sausage Lab Discovery

Researchers at the Jimmy Dean Sausage laboratories say they may have accidentally discovered the missing link.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Genetic Connection To Obesity

Scientists discover genetic connection to obesity: Parents, Grandparents also made daily trips to the Krispy Kreme.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Al's Next Movie Preview

Al Gore in next movie: "Now notice what will happen when all the hot air coming from Rush Limbaugh here meets that of the iceberg, Hillary Clinton."

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Eskimos Set Afloat

Hundreds of old Eskimos set afloat on ice floes to die, show up at Miami Beach, having a ball watching women playing beach volleyball. Think they're in next life.

written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
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Sign of the Times?

A UK Stationary chain of shops has come up with a brilliant idea and produced a calendar for 'THE MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING' so that he can be reminded of when the payments are due!

written by IN SEINE, 24 December 2008
Rating:

Dubai 'Sex on Beach' Woman to Write a Book

Michelle Palmer, the woman accussed of having sex on the beach inn Dubai is to write a book called "True Grit" under the pseudonym Sandy Knob.

written by IN SEINE, 24 December 2008
Rating:

Iraq shows promise in World Welly Wanging championships

Muntader al-Zaidi, the man who threw a shoe a Georrge Bush has been recruited by the Iraqi team to compete in the World Welly Wanging championships to be held in Skipton, Yorkshire, next year.

written by IN SEINE, 24 December 2008
Rating:

Pope attacks blurring of gender

He said "women wearing hats" and the "Scottish wearing dresses" will be the down fall of the human race, even more then religion

written by disciple, 24 December 2008
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