There were 144 spoof news snippets published in August 2008. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Statue of Huge Roman Ruler Unearthed

Turkish archeologists have unearthed a statue of a huge Roman ruler. Made of marble and with one straight edge, it is 90cm long and is marked off from I - XC. The Romans invented the decimal system.

written by IN SEINE, 26 August 2008
Rating:

Doctors Finally Determine What Causes Rosie O'Donnell's Mood Swings and Fits of Rage

The comedian is to begin immediate treatment for an advanced case of Mad Cow Disease.

written by Jalapenoman, 18 August 2008
Rating:

Act of God?

A Lincoln church which was going to be turned into a mosque has been severely damaged by a fire. It is claimed to be an 'Act of God' but the question is; which one?

written by IN SEINE, 30 August 2008
Rating:

Blackpool Illuminations to switch-off early!

Famed the world over, Blackpool Illuminations will be closed after only one month. A Blackpool Council Official blamed rising energy bills and said they will run to the end of September only.

written by IN SEINE, 30 August 2008
Rating:

Oliver rants on size of people's TVs

Mockney celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has complained that many people in the UK have bigger TVs than his. That maybe the reasoon people can't afford good food? Or is it jealousy?

written by IN SEINE, 25 August 2008
Rating:

Lack of Tables?

According to Jamie Oliver, "80% of Britons don't sit around the table for dinner". Could the reason for this be a lack of tables? or is it that they already have breakfast, tea and supper around it

written by IN SEINE, 25 August 2008
Rating:

John McCain Wants to use Vice Presidential Nominee Choice to Split Democratic Party

If I name Hillary as my running mate, I'll split the Democrats and steal half their votes, but then it's possible that no Republicans will vote at all.

written by Jalapenoman, 28 August 2008
Rating:

Crop Circles Found In Woman's Hair

A 36-year-old mother-of-two had the shock of her life this morning, when she woke to find crop circles in her hair. Mary Smith's daughter Amy, 4, told her: "Mum, your hair looks daft!"

written by Monkey Woods, 28 August 2008
Rating:

Branch Falls From Tree, Killing 12

There was chaos in a Berkshire street today, when a branch fell from an oak tree, killing 7 ants, three wood lice, an earthworm and a man asleep.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Sex Survey

In a new sex survey they found that 8% of people had sex four or more times a week. Now here is the interesting part - That number drops to 2% when you add the phrase, "With partner."

written by IN SEINE, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Olympics A Success For China

The Olympic Games have been an outstanding success for China, with figures showing that people don't really care about Human Rights anymore.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Polish Plane Crash Latest…

A Cessna 152 light aircraft crashed into a cemetery near Kracow today. So far 300 bodies have been recovered.

written by IN SEINE, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Sex Is Best For Children

The results of a Government study out today, claim that having sex is the best way of conceiving children.

written by Monkey Woods, 24 August 2008
Rating:

Soweto food more diverse than UK claims Oliver

Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver claims that the food in the slums of Soweto is more diverse than in the UK. "There are no fat people there and none of them have a telly." he said.

written by IN SEINE, 25 August 2008
Rating:

Czech Athlete Throws Hammer Into Crowd

Czech athlete Jan Zittage was arrested by Chinese police after hurling his hammer into the crowd with his final throw. Zittage finished last.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Boxers Knock Each Other Out

Iran's Ismael Mohammad and Iraq's Mohammad Ismael knocked each other out in their Featherweight semi-final contest. The result was declared 'a spectacle'.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Obama Picks Natowsky As VP

Barack Obama tonight selected Sheldon Natowsky as his VP, but Sheldon, who is busy writing spoofs, told him to ***k o*f

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

National Lottery Double-Rollover

It's a National Lottery Double-Rollover tonight, so don't forget to buy a ticket. This week's winning numbers are: 6, 11, 14, 25, 36 and 50 The Bonus Number is 5.4

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

New 'Longest Word' Found

Language experts have discovered a new 'longest word'. The word, 'wask'a' is from native South American Quechua, and means 'longest'.

written by Monkey Woods, 23 August 2008
Rating:

Beijing Olympics End On High Note

Yes, it's on to London 2012 now, as the 2008 Beijing Olympics ended on a high note today - a G10 sung by Brazilian Discus-thrower Georgia Brown.

written by Monkey Woods, 24 August 2008
Rating:

'English Weather'?

It was announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as 'English weather.'It will now be referred to as 'Muslim Weather.'- 'partly Sunni but mostly Shi'ite.'

written by IN SEINE, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Big Brother Housemates In Argument

More BB mayhem tonight as Mo withheld a hamburger, Nicole cried, Rex shouted and Darnell took a bath. Later, Mo apologised. Usual shit.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Christmas Date For Your Diary!

An emergency meeting of the Cabinet at Whitehall, has this evening decided that, after much soul-searching, Christmas will once again be on December 25th this year.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Jamie Oliver complains over UK's poor cuisine

Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has criticised the UK for its poor cuisine and alcohol culture. He claims the poor cuisine is NOT his fault as people would rather get drunk than watch him prepare a meal.

written by IN SEINE, 25 August 2008
Rating:

Chris Hoy's Dad To Go On A Diet

More fantastic news in the Olympic Velodrome today as Great Britain win two more gold medals and a silver, and Chris Hoy's overweight Dad promises to go on a diet.

written by Monkey Woods, 19 August 2008
Rating:

Jacques Rogge Tests Negative For 'Banned Substance'

IOC President Jacques Rogge has tested negative for a banned substance - charisma.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Brown And Blair On Muslim 'Hitlist'

Police investigations involving thousands of officers, have uncovered a deep-seated Muslim resentment of ex-PM Tony Blair and present PM Gordon Brown, and a sinister plot to murder the pair.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Glitter Admits Comeback "Unlikely"

Aging paedo Gary Glitter has told police that a comeback involving a new album and a UK-wide tour, are unlikely until at least the year 10,001.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Cristiano Ronaldo Not Injured

Great news for Man Utd fans! Ronaldo managed to stay further-injury-free this weekend, as the Reds don't play Portsmouth until Monday. He won't get hurt then either, as he is already on crutches.

written by Monkey Woods, 23 August 2008
Rating:

Olympic Sprint Batons Coated In Grease

Beijing: Batons used in the sprint relays were coated with grease. Britain, the US, Italy, France and Trinidad all lost their grips, but surprisingly, Greece held on.

written by Monkey Woods, 21 August 2008
Rating:

Stop homosexuality at its source.

It is a proven scientific fact that over 99.47% of all gays, lesbians, and bisexuals are the offspring from a heterosexual union. Stop heterosexual unions, and you'll stop homosexuality.

written by IN SEINE, 23 August 2008
Rating:

Blackpool Illumination

Energy cutbacks have forced Blackpool to use just one low-energy light bulb, a candle and several strategically placed mirrors. This year, it will be a case of 'Smoke and Mirrors', says Arthur Watt.

written by IN SEINE, 30 August 2008
Rating:

Police Discover Ashes In Fire-ravaged Building

Forensics experts have discovered what they say are "ashes" in the burnt-out shell of a house in Nottingham.

written by Monkey Woods, 30 August 2008
Rating:

Gary Glitter Takes Up Residence In Bangkok

Gary Glitter has cut short his world tour, and will set up home in Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi airport, sources close to the filthy, disgusting, paedophile say.

written by Monkey Woods, 21 August 2008
Rating:

Erkan Mustafa To Become A Circus Tent

The drug-fuelled ex-Grange Hill star embarks on a new career, not as an actor, but as a three-ring Big Top!

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Big Brother Housemate Shits In Pool

An unnamed housemate has 'laid a cable' in the Big Brother bathing pool. Watch tonight to find out who!

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Decathlete Runs 1500m In His Flip Flops

Having already won the Decathlon before the final discipline, US athlete Brian Clay ran the 1500m in his flip flops, and still won.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

National Orgasm Week


Organizers of National Orgasm Week were disappointed to learn that the majority of women polled just pretended to celebrate.

written by IN SEINE, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Oldest Living Angolan Dead

Pedro Nbongo, the oldest living Angolan, has been killed in a sub-machine gun ambush accident in the capital, Luanda. He was 38.

written by Monkey Woods, 23 August 2008
Rating:

Chinese Table Tennis Star Stands On Ball

Chinese star Zhiang Xin incurred the wrath of the game's governing body today, when she accidentally trod on a ball, crushing and ruining it beyond repair. She will be sentenced at a later date.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Name Change

The Gay Women's Rights Movement has announced today that the new and politically correct name for "lesbian." It has been changed to "vagitarian."

written by IN SEINE, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Paula Radcliffe Has Stopped Crying!

The marathon runner finally stopped crying this morning after it became clear to her, that nobody was taking the slightest bit of notice.

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Typhoon

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

written by IN SEINE, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Survey of Sexual Habits

The Survey of Sexual habits has determined that the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs - The wife rolls over and plays dead.

written by IN SEINE, 22 August 2008
Rating:

New Chinese Venture

After the Olympics, the Chinese will be converting the Great Wall into the world's longest shopping center. It will be titled "The Great Mall of China".

written by IN SEINE, 23 August 2008
Rating:

Convicted for converting!

Grant Wilkinson has been found guilty of converting replica guns into live firing weapons.

Meanwhile, God Almighty has been found guilty of converting Muslims into Christians.

written by IN SEINE, 27 August 2008
Rating:

EastEnders To Go Global

The BBC is set to sign a new deal that will take its dreary soap to Africa and Asia next year, so that all those folks can be miserable too!

written by Monkey Woods, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Obama denies owning ANY house as he folds tent!

Obama denied owning any house faced with the fact his opponent owns 7. "I don't own no house," he said, "everything is in my wife' name, and if she has one, I don't know where the bitch got it."

written by Morse, 26 August 2008
Rating:

Hillary finally wins one...comes from BEHIND to win in Colorodo!

Hillary Clinton edged out Michelle Obama in the first ever BIG BUTT contest on the Realty Show , "I've Got Your Booty" airing to a mentally diminished audience. Future of the show is in doubt.

written by Morse, 26 August 2008
Rating:

Hillary solves nation's gas problem...files for divorce!

Hillary Clinton announced at the DNC she is divorcing Bill, seeking half his declared assets and cash in an effort to silence his bull shit and promote clean air in Denver. Bill was speechless.

written by Morse, 26 August 2008
Rating:

Bomb Sniffing Dogs Alert to William Ayers at DNC!

The Weatherman Underground founder, professor and confidant of Barack Obama failed an ammonia nitrate scan at a DNC checkpoint. A test traced the chemical to his shorts. Ayers said they weren't his.

written by Morse, 27 August 2008
Rating:

John Edwards Back on College Speaking Trail

Topics to include discourse on Abstinence VS Safe Sex at nations' colleges.Fee will be $65,000, up from the $55,000 he got for speaking about POVERTY!

written by Morse, 30 August 2008
Rating:

Conceivable?

Following filming for a BBC documentary, the MRI scanner used to show a couple having sex at London's Medical University has been nicknamed 'The Tunnel of Love'.

written by IN SEINE, 01 August 2008
Rating:

Death Defying

A circus performer from Prague who today fell 50 feet from the trapeze was not hurt.

The Czech bounced!

written by IN SEINE, 07 August 2008
Rating:

A New Iron-Age Dawns!

Tefdal have inventede a new magnetic steam iron that makes your clothes attractive.

written by IN SEINE, 07 August 2008
Rating:

I'm gonna go down on you and you'll love it!

But it's only going to be long enough for you to start enjoying it then I'm gonna come back and f*ck you big time.

Luv Petrol Prices!

written by Scott Nairns, 16 August 2008
Rating:

Designer Babies

If designer babies are here, why is no one ordering "mute?"

written by carina-eta, 18 August 2008
Rating:

Divorce Pending

The latest Marvel Comic reports that Spider-Man's marriage has fallen apart after more than 20 years . His lawyer claims that he has been ignoring his wife and spending far too much time on the web.

written by IN SEINE, 21 August 2008
Rating:

New Playboy for Married Men

Hugh Hefner has just published a new edition of Playboy magazine for married men. It has the same centerfold every month.

written by IN SEINE, 21 August 2008
Rating:

China reports advanced genetics...gymnastic embryos ready for 2012

Claiming accelerated aging techniques, Chinese scientists said incubated embryos will be ready to compete in women's gymnastics by the next olympics. Birth certificates have been pre filed with IOC.

written by Morse, 26 August 2008
Rating:

Darling predicts grim financial future

Ex-Rocket Scientist and present Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling predicts a global recession.

written by IN SEINE, 31 August 2008
Rating:

Tankers Collide in English Channel

Two tankers carrying paint collided in the English Channel today. One carrying blue paint and the other, red paint.

This left the entire crew of both ships marooned.

written by IN SEINE, 28 August 2008
Rating:

Celebrity Storks On Strike

They're tired of delivering twins to celebrities and getting paid for a single delivery.

written by Gail Farrelly, 21 August 2008
Rating:

John Edwards at the Democratic Convention?

The Democratic National Convention was still going to have John Edwards come and give a rip-roaring speech this Monday. He regretfully declined. That's his night to take care of the baby.

written by PP Rega, 24 August 2008
Rating:

Oliver Twist?

A new cocktail has been invented by TV chef Jamie Oliver. Ingredients are gruel, soda, vodka, lime and a pinch of salt. The cocktail will be called the 'Oliver Twist'.

written by IN SEINE, 26 August 2008
Rating:

Jimmy Page loses G-string in Bird's nest

Former Led Zeppelin guitarist, Jimmy Page has lost his G-string. He believes he last had it at the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympics and could have left it on the back seat of a London bus

written by IN SEINE, 27 August 2008
Rating:

Obama Arrives 3 Days late to DNC Coronation..Claims GPS Malfunctioned!

But Michelle Malkin said he had been busy real estate shopping in Nev., Cal. and Fl. for some deals and had secured 9 no-doc loans thereby placing him ahead of John McCain in the Real Estate Polls.

written by Morse, 28 August 2008
Rating:

Jesse Jackson denied access to DNC; Metal detector finds weapon

Jesse Jackson was turned away from the DNC after security found a box cutter secreted in his shorts. Officials cited his earlier recorded threats against Obama to "cut off his nuts" to deny access.

written by Morse, 26 August 2008
Rating:

John Edwards' Cries for Help and Understanding Ignored!

With an erection now lasting well past 4 hours and approaching 3 months, the former Presidential Candidate can find no relief. Doctors and supporters said he would have to handle his own problem.

written by Morse, 26 August 2008
Rating:

Corrie Star Cancels Wedding

Bev Callard who plays Liz Macdonald in the soap has called off her big day. Good news for her current partner then as she already married mis-fit 'Vernon' this year, and she cheated on him twice!

written by Scott Nairns, 16 August 2008
Rating:

Wax Museum Runs out of Wax

Creating Brangelina's growing family has strained resources.

written by Gail Farrelly, 20 August 2008
Rating:

Why Won't She Just Go Away?

No, not Hillary Clinton, but Tropical Storm Fay, which has made four landfalls in Florida.

written by Gail Farrelly, 24 August 2008
Rating:

Nanci Pelosi Backs Bill Clinton on Immaculate Blue Dress Stain Theory

Citing her Catholic educational backround, the Speaker of the House announced that the immaculate ejaculation was not sex, or a sin, but an expression of love. The Pope welcomed the clarification.

written by Morse, 26 August 2008
Rating:

Ungrateful Barack Obama Accepts Democratic Crown At Coronation

Barack Hussein Obama reacted angrily when asked when he would be accepting his jewled crown at the DNC. Grabbing his crotch, the part time basketball player said, "I've got your jewels right here!"

written by Morse, 28 August 2008
Rating:

Harry goes to Bollywood

Munish Purii, of Mirchi Movies, who made Hari Putar said: "Our film bears no resemblance to the Hollywood film Harry Potter and it is a completely different story. It is about a boy at Genie School"

written by IN SEINE, 31 August 2008
Rating:

Face Transplant Surgeries Considered Successful

An elated John McCain is hoping to replace his face with a black one before the November election.

written by Gail Farrelly, 25 August 2008
Rating:

Men leave Australia in flocks

Australian men are leaving Australia it has been revealed. Women are relieved, but beer manufacturers are facing a severe downturn in output. The blame has been put down to a lack of sheep.

written by IN SEINE, 31 August 2008
Rating:

Research Shows Mississippi, West Virginia, and Alabama Are the Most Obese States

...and getting more obese, as fatties from all over the U.S. head to these three states to find fat comfort zones.

written by Gail Farrelly, 21 August 2008
Rating:

Scientists say using moisturizers may cause cancer

The Wicked Witch of the West agrees and says, "Hey, being a winkled old crone works for me!"

written by Gail Farrelly, 20 August 2008
Rating:

A lucky Medicine

A doctor reports that the medicine he has invented has a side effect - short-term memory loss. His patients have already paid him 3 or 4 times. He will soon be very rich.

written by BOB FRAPPLES, 28 August 2008
Rating:

Modern Miracle: Medicine, Meteorology Merge

Medical doctors and climate experts have joined forces and plan to air-drop thousands of antidepressants into the core of Tropical Storm Fay in hopes of bringing her disturbing nature under control.

written by TomFoolery, 19 August 2008
Rating:

Panic in Obama Camp

He stops to think, but finds he just can't start up again!

written by TomFoolery, 21 August 2008
Rating:

Mr Paparazzi Tells Media: "Leave Poor Jade Goody Alone!"

Close friends fear that cock-headed celebrity knocker Darryn Lyons may be heading for a complete mental breakdown.

written by Mrs Kensington, 23 August 2008
Rating:

John McCain Changes Mind about Nomination of Sarah Palin

He thinks she might be related to Michael Palin and declared, "I want none of that Monty Python nonsense in my campaign."

written by Gail Farrelly, 31 August 2008
Rating:

Online Beauty Contest for Nuns To Run on an Italian Priest's Blog

Whoopi Goldberg, star of Sister Act, plans to enter contest and will plead for votes on "The View."

written by Gail Farrelly, 25 August 2008
Rating:

Joe Namath, 65, May Come out of Retirement

He's commented, "Favre has done it, Strahan's considering it. Why not me?"

written by Gail Farrelly, 25 August 2008
Rating:

Barfing passenger refuses to purchase airsickness bag

Seat mates treat him to one.

written by Gail Farrelly, 17 August 2008
Rating:

Owners of Bigfoot Corpse Sign Marketing Contract with Reebok

"Customers need to know that our footwear comes in all sizes," says a Reebok spokesperson.

written by Gail Farrelly, 17 August 2008
Rating:

Spoof Writer Seeks Snippet Points

NickFun wrote a snippet for TheSpoof.com this afternoon for the sole purpose of gaining "snippet points".

"These things are easy to write and you get points for them!" Fun explained.

written by NickFun, 22 August 2008
Rating:

U. S. Food Regulators to Permit Radiation of Spinach

An indignant Popeye complains: "When God said, 'Let there be light,' He didn't mean it to be in my spinach."

written by Gail Farrelly, 23 August 2008
Rating:

Barack Obama Formally Nominated for President

Hillary's camp demands a do-over!

written by Gail Farrelly, 28 August 2008
Rating:

Vehicle Hijack latest:

A lorry loaded with brand-new file folders was hijacked on the M25. Later the same day, a truck carrying boxes of Post-its was stolen. Police believe the robberies were the work of organized crime.

written by BOB FRAPPLES, 28 August 2008
Rating:

2008 Vice Presidential Running Mates Announced

World shocked as presidential candidates pick each other. Planners scurry to combine conventions. Voters no much worse off than before. America, as always...doomed.

written by TomFoolery, 19 August 2008
Rating:

Oxymorons

The number of erudite chavs using oxymorons is almost exactly the same as last year but the figure is distinctly blurred.

written by Midgetgems, 22 August 2008
Rating:

Nigella Lawson Has Less Than a Fortnight to Eat World's Food!"

Voluptuous raven-haired glutton Nigella Lawson has vowed to eat as much of the world's food supply as possible before "Greedy Mo" is evicted from Big Brother 9.

written by Mrs Kensington, 23 August 2008
Rating:

Spoof redesign causing epileptic seizures

Mark Lowton, owner and editor of TheSpoof.com, discovered today that the redesigned web site caused violent epileptic seizures in 80% of it's viewers.

"I'll fix that", Mark promised.

written by NickFun, 17 August 2008
Rating:

Spammers Sued by Facebook and MySpace

Furious spammers complain, "Just because we don't want to be their friends, they're dragging our butts into court."

written by Gail Farrelly, 28 August 2008
Rating:

Man changes Pants in Bank Row

A man has had his banking password from 'Lloyds is pants' to 'Oh not it's not' by a former banking employee. He could not change it again to 'Barclays is better'. Banks obviously lack sense of humour.

written by BOB FRAPPLES, 28 August 2008
Rating:

Why Bill Cried

At the DNC, Bill Clinton wasn't crying because of pride in Hillary's great speech. It was because John Edwards stole his date.

written by PP Rega, 27 August 2008
Rating:

New Olmpic event offered by the Chinese

Chinese President, Hu Jintao, has proposed a new Olympic event: Shoot the Tibetan. He Said he would be a unique test of marksmanship and intolerance.

written by disciple, 12 August 2008
« Jul 2008 August 2008 Sep 2008 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
1
2nd
0
3rd
0
4th
1
5th
0
6th
0
7th
2
8th
0
9th
0
10th
0
11th
0
12th
1
13th
0
14th
0
15th
2
16th
4
17th
5
18th
4
19th
5
20th
13
21st
10
22nd
28
23rd
13
24th
5
25th
8
26th
10
27th
4
28th
13
29th
3
30th
8
31st
4

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 1?

1 4 12 14


Go to top