Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 9 April 2008
U.S. Government Investigating Unwarranted Purchases
The Senate is investigating illegal personal expenditures by Federal employees. "In 2006, various Agency personnel bought lingerie, iPods, expensive dinners, and luxury items, including vacation getaways." Said Alt DiCaca of the State Department, "It's always something!"
Charlton Heston Still Dead
Hollywood, California - Charlton Heston is still dead. No change in his status has been reported.
Pope Benedict Visits Wrong Grave During US Trip
Pope Benedict will pay tribute at the grave of Benedict Arnold in Amsterdam, New York. "He bears my name and is a famous American. Respect is proper." Unfortunately, Arnold was a Revolutionary War traitor and British spy!
All Prisoners In U.S. Going to Mexico, Forever!
The 1980 Mariel Boatlift into the U.S. of jailed Cubans was a model. Now, Obama, Hillary, and McCain have announced all U.S. prisoners will be sent Mexico, for good! "Mexico gave us 20 million illegals; they can have 2.5 million back!"