Spoof news snippets from Sunday 20 April 2008
Dell Computer Problem
Dell laptops have developed a problem where the A, E, and I keys always stick. A spokesman has finally diagnosed the problem as "These new laptops are suffering from irritable vowel syndrome."
Tonya Harding/Michael Jackson in Business Venture
Tonya Harding and Michael Jackson have bought Aqueduct Racetrack. She's going to do the handicapping and he's going to ride the three-year-olds.
View of reality
Working on a computer all day has definitely messed with my girlfriend's view of reality. We had just placed our lunch order, and as our waitress walked away, she slipped in a wet spot on the floor. "How about that?" Amy observed dryly. "Our server is down."
Captured by cannibals
Some spoofwriters on safari were captured by cannibals.The chief told them. "We put you all in big pots of water, cook you and eat you." "You can't do that to me," Mark Lowton said. "I'm the editor of 'TheSpoof.com. "Well," he responded, "tonight you will be editor-in-chief!"
Criminals Learn From True Crime TV
When Vinnie 'The Knife' Scalzo needed to do a 'job,' he learned how to do the perfect crime from Forensic Folders on the tube. He left no prints, no DNA, no hair, no fibers, no anything. Said Vinnie, "When you is educated like me, opportunity comes to you by TV!"
Olympic Flame Climbs Everest
As a tribute to good sportsmanlike conduct, pro-Tibet protesters in Nepal who interfere with the Olympic Flame climb at Mount Everest may be shot.
Spoof readers do not read snippets
A survey of TheSpoof.com's regular readers reveals that none of them ever read the snippets, therefore, this entire thing that I'm writing is just a waste of time.