Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 16 April 2008
Correspondent asks Pope Benedict if he enjoyed playing Cliff on Cheers
Pope Benedictus XVI, whose given name is Joseph Ratzinger, was recently asked by Entertainment Monthly if he liked playing "Cliff" on the TV comedy series "Cheers." The Pope responded "That was John Ratzenberger, dummy. Peace be with you."
Great Divide Argument Rages in Cleavage Wars
There are designers who like more cleavage and those who would rather use super glue to bridge the gap. Bruce Lady of 'Bra Business America,' said, "Mammaries still want to breathe, you know, and, American men just froth over the split! Any questions?"
Wacko's Vote Is Like Chocolate Milk
Fighting the white and black battle within, always-freakish Michael Jackson told a 5-year old buddy, "Mikey is confused about voting. I like milk and I like chocolate, but I can't mix them in this case. I've got it! Everybody thinks I'm now white, so, Hillary gets my vote!"
Obama Nearly Chokes on Philly Cheesesteak Sandwich
Proving he's not an elitist per volatile opponent, like Clinton, Obama mingled with a few Philly locals. Chewing away at a regional cheesesteak delicacy, Obama suddenly started gagging and was Heimliched. Said Barack..."lucky that the Clinton witch wasn't here to save me! Sure!"
McCain Returning to His John "McNasty" Days
His team calls him Miss McCain, half-assed, old man, and 'the wimp'. So McCain's campaign manager wants him to start showing his teeth and biting the Dems! So, it's back to private boarding school days, where he was nicknamed "McNasty" for his willingness to fight.
If McCain Wins Presidency, His Arms Will Be Raised!
War injuries mean the Republican candidate, John McCain, is unable to lift his arms over his head. So, Give Me A High Five Prosthetics of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, have fashioned an optical illusion to show his arms lifted over his head. It's called, 'Above McCain's Brain.'