Spoof news snippets from Saturday 12 April 2008
Lost backpacker found after 4-week absence; explains how he survived
"I love to eat donuts, especially when I am camping alone, but my IBS always begs to differ.When I became lost, I ate only the frosting and soiled myself several times and found civilization by following the tire tracks in my underwear."
Update: Impending Death From Space
With only minutes to live, any female, (redheads preferred) desiring a final moment of comfort should contact the author of this breaking news immediately.
Subway diet issues surgeon generals warning
Jerod has become famous for losing thousands of pounds with the Subway diet. However, although you may be able to devour a sub in under a minute it will take over an hour to leave your station. This warning is backed by the IBS preservation center.
American Airlines reaches an accord in NASA merger
When the skeet has hit the fan, there comes a moment where one must take drastic action. AA is on thin ice after cancelling hundreds of flights without justification. Fearing mutiny they succumbed to NASA which will replace aging jets with a fleet of space shuttles.
You Are More Likely To Get Your Baggage At Heathrow...
then to have your Breaking News Snippet show up here. But... be a sport. Give it a go....LOL! - BA CEO, Willie Walsh
9 out of 10 People Who Clicked The Ad...
under this snippet, didn't realize they needed the product until they clicked on it.
Scrolling Text Boxes Contributing To Global Warming
Scrolling Text Boxes may have a detrimental effect on the environment. This pronouncement was made at an annual World Wide Web convention at an exclusive resort in Fiji, accessible only by private jet.
Prince William has finally acheived his ambition. As a small boy he used to hang onto his dad's ears and fly around Buckingham Palace.
Predictability at it finest with a dash of balderdash
It was no surprise when Dubai's crown prince paid $2.7 million for a scud missile launcher, the catch: the launcher is a camel that won a beauty pageant by wearing only a thong.
Horse hybrids a hit at Detroit Auto Show
General Motors to begin the mass production of genetically cloned hybrid horses that don't require ethanol and must be plugged into a wall socket with an extension cord coiled within their anal canal.