Spoof news snippets from Thursday 10 April 2008
Impending Death From Space
Scientist warn a rock, half the size of the moon, is hurling through space on a collision course with our planet. All life will vanish in minutes. You may be dead as you read this due to the length of time it takes the editorial staff to post breaking news.
Following his recent defeat in the courts, Dodi Fayed will now set out to prove once and for all how the last Dodo was killed.
Yellow is still yellow
Revelations from the world of fashion have reached us to say that Yellow is not the new black, it is still the old yellow.
Sid Vicious - The Truth
An elderly neighbour of punk rock icon Sid Vicious has said, 'From what I can remember, he was a nice boy, actually'
Peter Pan, the boy who famously never grew up is said to now have a much deeper voice, and to be sporting a somewhat dapper moustache.
Detectives working together with record shops have found the millions of albums sold by Shania Twain, Chris De Burgh, Cliff Richard, Mariah Carey, and Celine Dion in the lost city of Atlantis. Atlantisists were always suspected to have a piss poor taste in music.
Shoe Prices: Update
Following the news that a Centipede in Glamorgan is to complain about the price of shoes to his MP, a Millipede has now poked his nose in saying 'And you think you've got problems?'
In a shock revelation that will turn the world of cliche on its head, a living Door nail has been found in the Outer Hebrides.
A Centipede in Glamorgan has recently complained about the price of shoes to his MP.
U.S. Airplanes Grounded for Hidden Reason
Over the past week, several U.S. airlines have cancelled flights, claiming safety inspections were needed. Insider information now reveals that no booze, peanuts, or soda had made it to these carriers for a week. Said one flight attendant, "No eats or alky, no fly!"
Teen Dies of Burst Aneurysm While Playing Sax
A 14-year old boy died of a cerebral hemorrhage at school in music class. His hygiene teacher in the prior class had talked about safe sex. Fearing disease and being safe while playing his sax, he foolishly put a condom over the mouthpiece.