Order by:
Rating:

Double Freak

The world's only human sized midget was revealed today at london's Leicester Square. The crowd went mild with anticipation.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Brand Named

Jo Brand is officially human, scientists discovered today after years of extensive testing.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Inbread

13 out of 12 bakers failed maths.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

International Weather Forecast

Temperature today will remain at a constant 2-27 degrees.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Drunk in charge of a cart

Scottish police have arrested a horse who was found to have ten times the legal limit of alcohol in its system. The police officer said the horse had denied it had been drinking. "When I asked him, he said 'neigh'."

written by Captain Equality, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Beagle 3 plans unveiled

Britain hopes to have another non-communicating dustbin lid on Mars by 2010.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Going, going, gone

David Dickinson was accidentally sold for 250 pounds today after a mix up in an auction room whilst filming.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Stealth Tax

Anybody found hiding in shadows or creeping quietly will be ordered to pay fifteen pounds as of today.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Space Catastrophe

Apparently the Dogstar has exploded. Luckily it's not Sirius.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

David Cameron's recent weight loss

Maybe he hasn't 'eton' all the pies.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Controversy In China

The Chinese government is dealing with over-population by shooting all old people at birth.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Time Team

Time Team are still investigating why people buried their houses in times gone by. More info to follow.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Cruel but Fair

3 people arrested for running underground 'ugly person' baiting ring. These illegal contests are known as 'Speed Dating'. If you have any information, or you're single and lonely, call 08764 767683525254 85 4384 3784

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Number Crunching

Recent polls suggest that faith in statistics has fallen by 16%.

written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Boy Expecting Happy Ending Disappointed

His dog hadn't run away and gone on a grand adventure as he had been told. Rather, his parents ran it over and lied to him. Neighbors called the dog "an annoying bastard" and said "good riddance!"

written by Entropus, 08 October 2007
Rating:

Fat Wealthy Man Gets Smoking Hot Girlfriend

Three nearby gentlemen pretended as though they would not have sex with the woman in question on principles, calling her a "gold digger" while undressing her with their eyes.

written by Entropus, 08 October 2007
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