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Curt Schilling to be Devalued

The Boston Red Sox announced today that if the team does not make it to the World Series their starting pitcher Curt Schilling will be devalued. He will be known as Curt Ninepence after Thursday.

written by Passion Vine House, 17 October 2007
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Colbert Steps Up, America Is Safe!

Stephen Colbert,author of I'm America and You Can Be Too,narrowed his beady little eyes today and told a hushed, vacant room that he was offering his lithe, tanned body and brittle mind to being ... um, President. Of these United States... soon.

written by Scrip, 17 October 2007
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Canned Laughter

The canned laughter used in Sitcom 'My Family' has been released into the wild. The programmes makers face charges of animal cruelty.

written by Ben Macnair, 17 October 2007
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Google to Jail

A man, who googled himself today, found that he was wanted on three counts of gross negligence. He has turned himself into the Police, whilst his wife of two months collects the reward.

written by Ben Macnair, 17 October 2007
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Oh Bullocks!

A Bull has broken all of the produce in a mirror shop. That is the last time that unlucky fool Mr Smith from Uphingham on the fritz gets his cliches mixed up. Well, that was what he said the last time, at least.

written by Ben Macnair, 17 October 2007
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Rentaghost - The truth

The truth about childish drama Rentaghost was revealed earlier today. It was really not as good as we remember it being, like many things from our childhoods.

written by Ben Macnair, 17 October 2007
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Brian Blessed

Loud actor Brian Blessed was today laid out by a bad case of man flu, and can now only whisper. His family said it was a Blessed relief (Cracker joke, circa 1973).

written by Ben Macnair, 17 October 2007
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Ivor the Engine

Ivor the Engine, beloved personified steam train in his own documentary will retire at the end of the year. Jones the Steam said: 'He was nothing to me. Just took the credit for everything'

written by Ben Macnair, 17 October 2007
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The Ghost of Christmas Future

Old curmudgeon the Ghost of Christmas Future is actually Fraser from Dad's Army, and says 'Doomed!! We're all doomed'. Jones the Butcher said, 'Don't panic!! They don't like it up them!!!'

written by Ben Macnair, 17 October 2007
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Bagpuss in running for Liberal Democrat

Bagpuss, resting star of his own series in the 1970's has revealed that he is in the running for Liberal Democrat Leadership. Proffessor Yaffle, a colleague of Bagpuss said 'What? I can't hear you. Where did I put my ear trumpet?'

written by Ben Macnair, 17 October 2007
Rating:

Ming Campbell

Menzies Campbell, old man of the Liberal Democrats has received his P45. It was delayed by the postal strikes.

written by Ben Macnair, 17 October 2007
Rating:

Charles "Hiding Like Saddam"

Prince Charles is "using doubles like Saddam did" claims Mrs Grimper, of "Ocean View" guest house. A recent lodger, claiming to be the Prince "didn't even look like 'im, and he nivver batted an eyelid when me hubby Bert asked aboot poor Diana's annivoosary."

written by Erskin Quint, 17 October 2007
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