Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 9 May 2007
Los Angeles icon The Laugh Factory to be closed
The Laugh Factory, famous for starting out many comics will close this weekend. Due to the weak marketplace for laughs and intense global competition, all manufacturing of laughs will be moved offshore.
New Anti-illegal Immigrant fence Called 'American Maginot Line'
"And just as damned useless" said detractors. "illegals will simply go around as they did the original Maginot Line which didn't work either."
Pro Bass Fisherman to Take Time Off to Relax
Will write lines of computer code and solve differential equations to unwind.
U.S Invades Itself
The U.S Army, at the direction of George Bush, invaded the U.S today. White House sources denied Bush was only doing it for the oil in Texas.
Scientists have new results from cannabis studies...
...but can't remember what they are.
FREE PARIS HILTON!
in every box of crunchy nut cornflakes.
Rains Pelt Midwest
Women and minorities are hardest hit as raging rivers run rampant!
Bush appoints new 'War Zarr'
Cheney says he will actually be 'Uberkommandant" over entire war effort, and 'not to be confused with Secretary of Defense' who will be in charge of 'Homeland Defense' only.
Homeland Security Tries New Tactic in Illegal Immigration War
Will use old technology to brand "I-A" on foreheads of captured male illegals. Will demand proof of circumcision for Males, VD screening for females.