Spoof news snippets from Saturday 5 May 2007
Branson launches female escort service
Richard Branson has launched a new female escort agency called 'Virgin Women'. The new company will compete against rival Stelios's 'Easy Women'.
Prince Phillip: I hate the blacks
In a rare behind-the-scenes TV interview, the relaxed prince told of how his favourite sweets are midget gems, although he can't bear the licquorice ones.
Prince William held on rape charge
Prince William has been arrested after a farmer claimed he caught the Prince flattening swathes of an oil seed rape crop whilst searching for a lost golf ball
Queen shot dead in Afghanistan
HM the Queen has been killed in Afghanistan after the convoy she was commanding was attacked by taliban rebels. This takes the total Queen death toll in the country to 1 since hostilities started.
CIA Official Admits 9/11 a Hoax
CCN - Former Assistant Defense Secretary Richard Perle has testified that 9/11 is a hoax. He said that Tenet is trying to shift the blame for 9/11. White House are scrambling to figure out how Bush is going to get out of this one.
Bush to Wear White Tie
CCN - President Bush has agreed to wear a white tie to meet Queen Elizabeth II after being cut off by Laura.
Elsie Returns to Borden
Elsie the cow has returned to Borden Dairy after a corporate downsizing was reversed. A spokesperson for Borden says that letting Elsie go was an udder failure on the public relations front.
GOP renamed as "CBC"
Grand Old Party takes advantage of all free publicity surrounding Corruupt Bastards Club. Bush orders another CC & coke.
Corrupt Bastards Arrested In Alaska
Three members of Alaska's Corrupt Bastard Club arrested. Claim it is huge mistake, Actually is 'Corrupt Bastard Caucus & 'honorable Republican tradition'.
Corrupt Bastards of Alaska Growing Desperate
The Corrupt Bastards Club of Alaska panics as authorities close in. Now calling themselves "Alaska Bastards'Corruption Club". GW Bush named as 'honorary member'in bid to defuse investigation.