There were 103 spoof news snippets published in March 2007. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

First Presidential hopeful withdraws from Democratic Party nomination process...

...leaving only 125,314 candidates remaining.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2007
Rating:

President George W. Bush views tornado destruction in Enterprise, Alabama and is upset at the scene

"I couldn't locate the bodies of Kirk or Spock anywhere and was hoping to find me one of those phaser thingies."

written by Jalapenoman, 05 March 2007
Rating:

News of 218 pound eight year old being taken from parents for negligence causes mixed reactions

Fat Albert goes on sugar eating binge due to jealousy

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2007
Rating:

President Bush sets personal record by going three days without saying something stupid.

Doctors blame the problem on laryangitis.

written by Jalapenoman, 05 March 2007
Rating:

Speedy Alka Seltzer caught sipping Pepto Bismol

He comes out of the closet and admits that "I like being in the pink."

written by Jalapenoman, 15 March 2007
Rating:

"Rent a Wife" says she'll do housecleaning, sewing, and dishes, but no sex.

Men wonder what makes that different than most marriages.

written by Jalapenoman, 04 March 2007
Rating:

Middle East: Iraq to change name to Iram.

Olympic athletes have had enough of trailing Iran in opening ceremonies.

written by Fergus McCarthy, 31 March 2007
Rating:

Anna Nichol Smiths DNA on EBay

Send in the clones.

written by matthatt, 22 March 2007
Rating:

Portrait of Queen Elizabeth II Appears on The Spoof

The Palace demanded it, since many people think that Helen Mirren is "The Queen."

written by Gail Farrelly, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Barron William Trump Celebrates First Birthday

Buys three properties in Manhattan, says "You're fired" to his nanny, hangs an even bigger American flag on his Florida home, and sends a nasty e-mail to Rosie O'Donnell.

written by Gail Farrelly, 20 March 2007
Rating:

FDA Says Sleep Medications May Cause Strange Behaviors

Many of The Spoof's writers wake up in the morning and find they've submitted several stories, but they have no memory of writing them. And no interest in reading them.

written by Gail Farrelly, 15 March 2007
Rating:

Secret Service Nabs Man with a Package Climbing White House Fence

His defense? "Just trying to deliver a large pie with pepperoni."

written by Gail Farrelly, 17 March 2007
Rating:

Vincent ("Sleepin' with the Fishes") Pastore Wants to Come Back to "Dancing with the Stars"

Plans to whack a current contestant and make a triumphant return.

written by Gail Farrelly, 20 March 2007
Rating:

Author Terry ("How Stella Got Her Groove Back") McMillan Sues Ex-husband

Claims Stella didn't get her groove back after all.

written by Gail Farrelly, 23 March 2007
Rating:

Houdini Will Be Exhumed

Plans to audition for "Dancing with the Stars" at the earliest opportunity.

written by Gail Farrelly, 23 March 2007
Rating:

Woman Has Nipple on Bottom of Foot

Finds it quite convenient to put her feet up and nurse her newborn.

written by Gail Farrelly, 25 March 2007
Rating:

Mouse Takes Man's Dentures

The mouse wanted to put some teeth into an argument he was having with his wife.

written by Gail Farrelly, 26 March 2007
Rating:

New Yorkers Wonder Why The Teletubbies Are Visiting Their City

Don't ask, don't tell.

written by Gail Farrelly, 27 March 2007
Rating:

.xxx Suffix for Sexy Websites Still Under Consideration

By Al Gore, founder of the Internet.

written by Gail Farrelly, 31 March 2007
Rating:

Launch of Space Shuttle Atlantis Postponed

NASA claims Atlantis was damaged in a hail storm, but rumor is that renegade astronauts were responsible for the damage.

written by Gail Farrelly, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Motorists Outraged that Silicon is Found in Fuel Tanks

"No way should they hire garage mechanics with breast implants that leak!"

written by Gail Farrelly, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Prince Charles Thinks McDonalds Should Be Banned . . . .

. . . . And McDonalds thinks Prince Charles should be banned.

written by Gail Farrelly, 02 March 2007
Rating:

The Spoof's Writers Cannot Stop Writing Stories about Easter Island

Administrators of The Spoof say this is a serious, contagious illness. They advise bed rest, lots of alcoholic fluids, and staying away from contaminated places such as The Spoof's Discussion Forum.

written by Gail Farrelly, 11 March 2007
Rating:

Hillary Clinton Appalled about Implosion of Las Vegas Stardust Hotel

"The result of another vast, right-wing conspiracy," she declared.

written by Gail Farrelly, 14 March 2007
Rating:

Viacom Claims Copyright Infringement, Sues YouTube and Google

Snippets of the court proceedings will be available on YouTube.

written by Gail Farrelly, 14 March 2007
Rating:

Son Born to Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott

Liam Aaron emerges from the womb and asks his mom and dad if he'll get billing on the reality TV show, Tori & Dean: Inn Love, featuring their new bed and breakfast.

written by Gail Farrelly, 15 March 2007
Rating:

Real news too bizzare

The Spoof online newspaper may have to close, as the real news is deemed to becoming too bizarre to compete with!

written by matthatt, 16 March 2007
Rating:

Apple release new gadget to help people organise themselves better.

Its called the i-DIOT.

written by matthatt, 19 March 2007
Rating:

Al Qaeda suspect confesses to role in New Coke disaster

The suspect, Walid bin Attash, testified the bad-tasting soda was part of an elaborate terror plot so Coca Cola could exchange cane sugar for corn syrup in Classic Coke...

written by Robin Berger, 20 March 2007
Rating:

Tainted Pet Food Scare in North America

Lassie returns from the dead to say he may have been poisoned. Demands an inquest into his death, with coverage on Entertainment Tonight, Court TV, and Access Hollywood.

written by Gail Farrelly, 19 March 2007
Rating:

"Dancing with the Stars" Has a New Name

Since two dancers have already quit, the show will now be called "Dancing with Has-been Celebrities Who Survive the Rehearsals."

written by Gail Farrelly, 06 March 2007
Rating:

"Wild Hogs" a Smash Hit at the Box Office

Uh....Is that the one about a rogue group of Spoof writers?

written by Gail Farrelly, 06 March 2007
Rating:

Spoof writer infiltrates 700 Club

and unmasks protein-defying ageing pancake salesman Pat Robertson as the son of Fanny Craddock and Mr Pastry

written by queen mudder, 09 March 2007
Rating:

Massive Quantity of Ice Found on Mars

Good! Since the earth is rapidly warming, let's hope that the UFOs arriving from Mars bring lots of ice for us.



written by Gail Farrelly, 16 March 2007
Rating:

Australian Scientists Make Dresses from Wine Fermentation Bacteria

Guys are advised to find themselves dates who are willing to sing as well as wear these dresses. Wine, women and song -- all in one package!

written by Gail Farrelly, 19 March 2007
Rating:

Missing 12-year-old Boy Scout Found Alive in North Carolina

Had wandered away from the campsite in search of Angelina Jolie, hoping she would adopt him.

written by Gail Farrelly, 21 March 2007
Rating:

Giuliani Endorsed for President by Steve Forbes

Rudy also gets a one-year subscription to Forbes magazine.



written by Gail Farrelly, 29 March 2007
Rating:

General Peter Pace Apologizes for Calling Homosexuality Immoral

Says he meant to say "immortal."

written by Gail Farrelly, 14 March 2007
Rating:

Mystery Couple Rescued After Falling Off Cruise Ship

Turns out to be Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio, rehearsing for their first post-Titanic movie appearance together.

written by Gail Farrelly, 27 March 2007
Rating:

BBC and YouTube Form a Partnership

Viacom, spurned partner of YouTube, is in grief counseling.

written by Gail Farrelly, 03 March 2007
Rating:

Salmonella Scare Extends to Some Peanut Butter Ice Cream and Toppings

And also to squirrel stew, if there's a chance that the squirrels ate contaminated peanuts or peanut butter products.

written by Gail Farrelly, 03 March 2007
Rating:

The Moon Clothed Itself in Red.....

The world called it a lunar eclipse, but WE know it was clearly a celebration for Spoof writer Queen Mudder and her 666th story, "Sympathy for the Devil."

written by Gail Farrelly, 04 March 2007
Rating:

Indian Businessman Arun Nayar Has Dinosaur Named for New Wife, Elizabeth Hurley

It's called Dumpedgrantasaurus.

written by Gail Farrelly, 04 March 2007
Rating:

David Beckham Hurts Knee

Audition for "Dancing with the Stars" is canceled.

written by Gail Farrelly, 05 March 2007
Rating:

Coming soon to a venue near you....

....one of many wedding ceremonies between Elizabeth Hurley and Arun Nayar.

written by Gail Farrelly, 07 March 2007
Rating:

Rachael Ray Bitten By a Dog in NYC

So far the dog has suffered no ill effects, but he HAS gotten perkier.

written by Gail Farrelly, 07 March 2007
Rating:

To Control Depression, Rosie O'Donnell Hangs Upside Down

But how can we prevent the depression she CAUSES in us?

written by Gail Farrelly, 08 March 2007
Rating:

Captain America Dead!

His fans predict that he will rise from the dead -- hopefully before paternity issues, details of his will, and final burial plans are settled.


written by Gail Farrelly, 08 March 2007
Rating:

Antonella Barba Booted from 'American Idol'

Conspiracy exposed between Barba and The Spoof's writer Breeze: Barba posed nude and then Breeze (a disgrace to the Leprechaun community) wrote about it -- vaulting himself to the No. 1 slot in the list of top writers on The Spoof.

written by Gail Farrelly, 09 March 2007
Rating:

In 2003 a U.S. City Changed Name of 'Easter' Bunny to 'Spring' Bunny

Just hearing the news today, the "Whatever-His-Name-Is" Bunny collapsed and is now unable to hop or distribute chocolate eggs.

written by Gail Farrelly, 10 March 2007
Rating:

The Spoof's Writers Maligned in Breeze's Latest Rant Are Suing, Alleging Character Defamation

The writers NOT included in Breeze's rant are also suing, claiming discrimination was involved in their exclusion.

written by Gail Farrelly, 11 March 2007
Rating:

TV's 'Law and Order' May Switch Venue from NY to Wash., D.C.

If Fred Thompson (D.A. Arthur Branch) is elected U.S. President.

written by Gail Farrelly, 13 March 2007
Rating:

Angelina changes Vietnamese son's name

Angelina has changed her son's name from "can't remember now" to Pax which means PEACE in latin (which he can't speak anyway). Guess she is giving Brad a PEACE offering after the telling off she gave him. Does he want it though?

written by Ana Ward, 15 March 2007
Rating:

Condor spots The Spoof

It was discovered that the CIA has put 3 agent on to monitor and assess the popular site www.TheSpoof.com. They feel that some parodies have displayed scenarios too close to truth for comfort.

written by ErHoff, 15 March 2007
Rating:

Pope is Pissed

Pope's principle position pertaining to pill popping politicos is primarily and profoundly pissed and preponderantly PO'd. Prays, prepares, perseveres for prosecutions.

written by Gnarly Erik, 16 March 2007
Rating:

Coke Not "The Real Thing" According to Addicts Suing for False Advertising

Plaintiffs undaunted by the fact that the slogan hasn't been used in decades.

written by Selmer, 18 March 2007
Rating:

Film stars - "no panties rules"

A new bill has been passed by George Bush (he has Bill Clinton's approval) that all film stars (preferably actresses and not actors) will no longer keep their celebrity status unless they are "knickerless".

written by Ana Ward, 20 March 2007
Rating:

Some Muslim cashiers at Minnesota Target store refuse to scan pork products

Jewish cashiers are mulling over the idea. In spite of the blatant disrespect, pigs remain fat, dumb and happy.

written by TomFoolery, 20 March 2007
Rating:

Cannibal Cult Leader Faces Death Penalty

Witnesses say he's "eaten up" with guilt.

written by TomFoolery, 20 March 2007
Rating:

Stress

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.

written by Gnarly Erik, 21 March 2007
Rating:

Sanjaya "Removed" from Idol Competition

"American Idol" audience members were first shocked, but then erupted in exuberant applause during the performance of "You Really Got Me" by Sanjaya when Ray Davies jumped out of the crowd during the song and beat him into a coma. Prosecutors are not expected to file charges.

written by Selmer, 21 March 2007
Rating:

Study: Chinese Restaurant Food Is Unhealthy

What DOES one feed a Chinese restaurant anyway???

written by TomFoolery, 21 March 2007
Rating:

Anna Nicole Smith: The Latest

She's still dead.

written by Tom Taylor, 21 March 2007
Rating:

Virgins

To all you virgins out there: Thanks for nothing!

written by Gnarly Erik, 21 March 2007
Rating:

Sex

The US Surgeon General says if sex is a 'pain in the ass' for you, you are doing it wrong.

written by Gnarly Erik, 21 March 2007
Rating:

God's Phone Call

Pope Benedict upset that latest call from God routed through Salt Lake City

written by Gnarly Erik, 24 March 2007
Rating:

African Crisis

An African water purification plant has just recently burst into flames, Investigators baffled.

written by decobb, 23 March 2007
Rating:

Rumsfeld Calls for Gonzales's Damn Resignation This Time

Citing a lack of desire to go down in history as the only significant ousted official from the George W. Bush administration, former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today called on Attorney General Roberto Gonzalez to resign.

written by Kagendo, 25 March 2007
Rating:

Virgins

From all the virgins out there: You're welcome

written by decobb, 26 March 2007
Rating:

Michigan Man Sentenced to Jail After Sex Pact With Girlfriend, 15-Year-Old Daughter

Hmmmm...Must be originally from West Virginia if his girlfriend is his daughter...

written by TomFoolery, 27 March 2007
Rating:

Homeland Security

Investigation shows Department of Homeland Security to be a fraud. Not really a 'Department', never at 'Home', not to mention 'land', and can't define or spell 'Security'. "Just another administration rip-off." according to top Democrat.

written by Gnarly Erik, 28 March 2007
Rating:

Pope: Hell Is a Real Place Where Sinners Burn in Everlasting Fire

But who'd have thought that so many pervert priests would be so "hellbent" on finding out the hard way...?!

written by TomFoolery, 28 March 2007
Rating:

Britney Ordered to Don Underwear

A federal judge in Los Angeles issued a warrant ordering Britney Spears not to appear in public without underwear. Emergency order issued to preserve ink and bandwidth due to massive prurient reporting

written by Gnarly Erik, 16 March 2007
Rating:

US Couple Use Baby As Car Payment

- "An 'arm & a leg' would of been too inhumane."

written by Moose&Squirell, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Girls Caught On Tape Robbing Bank

- See newest 'Girls Gone Wild' video part#5, "Gone Shopping!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Anna Nicole Smith's Mom Drops Bid for Body

Man, they'll put ANYTHING on eBay these days!!

written by TomFoolery, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Tennessee High School Students Make Porn Film Between Classes

They claimed it was the class project their Sex Ed course.

written by TomFoolery, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Arrest Close in 'Barbie Bandits' Case

Anonymous sources tell SpoofNews that it was Ken who came forward, claiming it was revenge for her and Skipper dumping him.

written by TomFoolery, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Florida Man Claims Chicken Burrito Paralyzed him

Making it impossible for him to cross the road.

written by TomFoolery, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Jacko Charging $3,500 30 Second Visits At Exclusive Party

Kids are free.

written by writingguy, 04 March 2007
Rating:

LA Carjacked Couple Left Naked

On their way to a nudist colony sleep-over, how else would you expect them to "dress"??

written by TomFoolery, 07 March 2007
Rating:

Groom Accused of Trying to Run Over Wife After Honeymoon in Vegas

Apparently, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, but sometimes it lands you in jail....in Vegas.

written by TomFoolery, 07 March 2007
Rating:

Teacher Denies She Taught Kids Witchcraft

Says they learned to spell on their own.

written by TomFoolery, 07 March 2007
Rating:

Chaney, Eskimo, off to the Yukon

Following the Guilty Verdict in the Scooter Libby trial, Vice President Dick Chaney has reportedly embarked on a hunting trip with Eskimo Rapper "Yo Bitch - Cook the Fish"

written by Al Lee Wyer, 07 March 2007
Rating:

400 Down, 575 To Go

Manuel Uribe, who once weighed half a ton, gets a lift on his first trip outside in five years. Where to, you might ask. Why, McDonald's, of course. Local fast food restaurants have gone on full alert.

written by TomFoolery, 08 March 2007
Rating:

EU To Look At Cloned Meat Safety - meat reproduces

Cloning a lamb chop, a steak or a hot dog may seem disturbing but the idea of two beef sausages 'getting it on' could turn even the most red-blooded carnivore to salad.

written by Tom Taylor, 09 March 2007
Rating:

Bird Flu Strikes Again! Huey, Dewey and Louie...now Just Dewey.

"Of course I miss them..." Dewey said, "...they were my brothers. But look, I stand to inherit a lot from a certain uncle who's pretty old, and with them out of the picture I'm going to be swimming in it."

written by Tom Taylor, 10 March 2007
Rating:

Paris Hilton sex tape shock! It's not actually that good.

Jack (34) found that it was "kinda green..." and "...sometimes she looks a little bored."

written by Tom Taylor, 10 March 2007
Rating:

Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Not Naked Today. Media Forced To Report News.

In a rare, and boring, day for media and lonely internet surfers, both Paris Hilton and Britney Spears have managed to stay completely covered up.

written by Tom Taylor, 10 March 2007
Rating:

Sylvester Stallone Not So Sly

It turns out Human Growth Hormone doesn't help your brain to grow.

written by Tom Taylor, 13 March 2007
Rating:

Heather Mills strikes well-wisher.

After a fan told Heather Mills to break a leg, she removed her prosthetic and hit him over the head with it.

written by Selmer, 13 March 2007
Rating:

There are 65,000 Gays and Lesbians Serving in the U.S. Armed Forces

Who asked...and WHO TOLD?????

written by TomFoolery, 14 March 2007
Rating:

Photos of Pop Tart Britney Spears' Bare Butt About to Be Released

But they're so close up, it'll be hard to tell the difference since she shaved her head.

written by TomFoolery, 14 March 2007
Rating:

Don't Ask, Don't Tell... For God's Sake Don't Comment.

Peter Pace Picks a Public Place for Prejudice.

written by Tom Taylor, 14 March 2007
Rating:

Bush Sues Chavez

President Bush sues for 80 Gigalbillion bucks in International Court for being called '**** For Brains'by Venezuela's Hugo Chavez- threatens invasion by reason of insanity.

written by Gnarly Erik, 14 March 2007
Rating:

Tom Cruise to attempt MI IV

Tom Cruise has alerted media at his attempt to outdo M. I. III with M.I. IV, doing his own stunt work live on Posh's reality show. Tom is to show the world how he impregnated Katie (he's sterile according to exes Nicole & Mimi) by doing the "deed" live & producing baby number two!

written by Ana Ward, 15 March 2007
Rating:

CIA Spooks Infiltrate US Congress

- "N.A.A.C.P. pleased!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Covert U.S. Funds Being Funneled To Al Qaeda

- "We tried to reach Al, but, he wasn't returning phone calls!"

written by Moose&Squirell, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Atheists in America Increasing

- "GOD calls them 'oxy-morons who need prayer'. "I mean really, whoever heard of a "Non-believing believer".

written by Moose&Squirell, 01 March 2007
Rating:

Huge Slaughter of Pet Dogs in China Planned

On a related note, there will soon be a surge in all-you-can eat Chinese restaurants.

written by TomFoolery, 07 March 2007
« Feb 2007 March 2007 Apr 2007 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
14
2nd
1
3rd
2
4th
4
5th
3
6th
2
7th
7
8th
3
9th
3
10th
4
11th
2
12th
0
13th
3
14th
7
15th
6
16th
4
17th
1
18th
1
19th
3
20th
6
21st
7
22nd
1
23rd
3
24th
1
25th
2
26th
2
27th
3
28th
3
29th
2
30th
1
31st
2
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 1?

2 15 19 3


Go to top