Spoof news snippets from Friday 22 June 2007
Sordid 'Sicko' Secret Slips
Turns out it's actually morbid maniac Michael Moore's memoirs.
Donald Duck fires his personal physician, calling him a Quack. Mini Mouse tells Mickey to get out for refusing to cut the cheese. Pluto disputes media claims that he's really Goofy.
Rove - Limbaugh: No More Match
Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh have called it quits after it was revealed by other soueces that Karl was to remain sorta true to his little wifey. Rush was unavailable for comment however Karl was very forthcoming. "I am and will always be sorta true to her."
The International Shoplifters Federation is introducing classes in identity fraud to enable more of their members to work from home.
Pinocchio to Play Tony Blair in New Film
"I've had to really control my nose when talking about the Iraq War and the Sexed-Up Dossier," admitted the Italian Movie Star.
Ian Hislop Elected King of the Gnomes
"It's a wonderful honour," said a pleased-as-punch Hislop.
Blair Sells Scotland to Poland
"There's a lot the UK can offer Europe," admitted the 'Sell You Down The River' specialist, Blair.
Eeyore admits to Self-Harming
"I've had good days and bad days. Mostly bad days," admitted the depressed Donkey.
Piglet Comes Out of the Closet
Hundred-Acres-Wood resident, Piglet admits to being a homosexual. Eeyore was unavailable for comment.
Beware new Quack security breach
Uprise in original UNIX Quack login screen emulators at univerisities and public libraries. Identity theft is rampant.