Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 20 June 2007
Big Brother bill for dating services
Legislation before Congress would require dating websites to run criminal background checks on patrons
S.C. Cops: Naked Couple Falls 50 Feet From Rooftop to Their Deaths
Thus proving the scientific fact that gravity is a killer, whether you have clothes on or not!
New suit hides pregnancy
A new suit using Hollywood layering techniques designed to hide pregnancies has become available for sale online.
Tony Blair to Visit Abu Ghraib Prison
The outgoing Prime Minister seemed disproportionately excited at the prospect of the humiliations he was certain to endure within the infamous prison.
Hugo Chavez Challenges Bush to "Yo Momma" Contest
The Venezuelan President began the contest with, "His momma so fat, you need a map to get around her!" Onlookers hooted and impugned Bush's manhood.
International Rescue Fined For Health and Safety Breaches
"Tracy Island is temporarily shut down while several risk assessments are undertaken," commented Thunderbirds spokesman, Brains.
Emily Parr to Host 2007 MOBO Awards
"I'm looking really forward to seeing all my fellow niggers push it out!" exclaimed the recently-evicted Big Brother moron.
Jade Goody to Host New Series of "Black and White Minstrels"
"I'm really looking forward to seeing all the funny gollywogs dance!" she commented.
Mr. T Changes Name to Mr. X, Says it "Just Sounds Cooler"
The famed mohawked one declared, "I pity the fool who calls me Mr. T! Mr. X don't play that game! Aargh!"
Bush caught pawing at self in mirror
The President was seen in the White House pawing at his own reflection in a mirror. Secret Service agents spent 10 minutes convincing him that he didn't have an evil twin.