Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 19 June 2007
Jesus Returns to Earth and then Leaves Again
Believers awaiting the Apocalypse upon their savior's return were dismayed to learn that he "Just came to get some nachos."
Humpty Dumpty Dies in Hot Weather
"When we got to him his insides were fried!" Advised Toytown Hospital.
Formula 1 officially voted "Most Boring Sport."
Dwarven Billionaire Bernie Ecclestone was shocked last night to hear that F1 had been voted the most boring sport. "Why can't people just enjoy the technical spectacle of one car following another with no possibility of overtaking?"
Gordon Brown Denies Homosexual Love Affair with Tony Blair
"He most definitely denies it," said the Prime Minister-in-waiting's spokesman, Danny La Rue.
Lord Falconer Admits Sleeping With Tony Blair
"We would often snuggle up in our dorm if it was chilly," admits Blair's best buddy.
Gordon Brown Attacked by Giant Moths
"It happened when the Prime Minister-in-waiting opened his wallet," explained his spokesman, Winston Smith.
Willy Wonka sacks 15% of Workforce
TUC expresses anger at Mr. Wonka's cost-cutting exercise saying it will prove hard for redundant Oompah-Loompah's to find alternative work.
The latest edition of the Oxford dictionary adds a new definition for the word plagiarise, - "to cut and paste".