Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 13 June 2007
Florida Principal in Jail After Buying Crack Cocaine at School
THAT'll teach him!!
Iran: Death to Pornographers!
Isn't it just like those wackos to have a 'thing' for snuff flicks?!
Rumsfeld defends his new book, "Muslim Armageddon"
"It deals with the sensitive issue of radiation sickness on muslim families through sustained nuclear strikes on Syria and Iran," quipped the author.
Nineteenth-Century Harpoon Found in Live Whale
The harpooner, sadly, was digested and excreted decades ago.
Nuclear Workers Denied Compensation
CCN - The Bush administration Corrupt Bastards denied workers their compensation, enforcing long processes through which they must go in hopes that they will die before they can receive benefits.
Banana-Flavored Twinkies Return to Shelves After Half-Century Hiatus
Rosie O'Donnell, Roseanne Barr and Oprah are ecstatic!
Naked Nintendo Wii Sports Craze Hits Britain!
Video footage of Pauline Quirke playing Wii Sports while naked has been condemned by Nintendo. Footage of Kelly Brook playing was not condemned.
Tony Blair blames Mystic Meg for Iraq War
"I read her horoscope column on the Monday and it said that you would be replaced by a sour, Stalinist Dictator and thought she meant Saddam! I didn't realise she was talking about Gordon." whined the outgoing War Criminal.
Big Brother Goes Correct
Channel 4 has agreed to demands to edit swear words and racial abuse from broadcasts of Big Brother. The normally hour long show will now run for only 4 minutes.
Billy Bob Invades TheSpoof.com
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Dublin - Billy Bob has posted his videos in the satire section of TheSpoof.com, attacking almost everything the writers stand for!
Smoke Ban Delay
The Government has announced a one month delay in the introduction of the smoking ban due to an insufficient number of accredited snitchers.