Spoof news snippets from Friday 27 July 2007
Strange but true - Fact 2
Studies suggest that more than one in twenty people have hired a contract killer to shoot one of their neighbours, said neighbour's pets or a local dustman, within the remits of their working life, although how many of these people were inebriated at the time is unknown.
Strange but true - Fact 1
Did you know, fifteen percent of the adult British population farm sheep, or have had sheep farming dreams at some point in their drab wretched lives. Not that I'm judging them, the freaks.
London Mayor - Opinion
Boris Johnson Vs Ken Livingstone, who will win? Well Boris obviously, which slightly undermines the idea of posing a rhetorical question in the first place. Though now I've said it, it doesn't look too bad as the start of a small paragraph.
Microsoft - History Byte
Microsoft is currently in the fifth year of its war on Apple Mac, although the war officially ended seven years ago and was only released due to a bug in windows XP service pack one which launched a pre-emptive strike against the less popular company.
It is a popular misconception that passive smoking is inhaling other peoples smoke. It is in fact smoking during a period of peace during a major conflict.
Lindsay Lohan: Not My Peruvian Flake
"We were playing that game where you change your pants with the person next to you when you're driving, that's when we got pulled over."