Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 28 February 2007
Teacher Cuts Off Noisy Kid's Tongue
- "Female classmates begin to cry inconsolably!"
Scientists Create Remote-Controlled Pigeon
- Programmed to show respect to statuary.
Wine Drinkers Live More Healthily Than Beer Drinkers: Study
- The downside is they only live half as long.
Castro Says He Feels Energetic, Stronger
- " I will live forev.....(BOINK!)"
Retarded Mice Get Smarter With Drug
- "They must have. They fooled the scientist!"
'Extreme Eating' a Big Fat Problem for U.S.
- Article in Bulimia Today, "Does This Skin Make Me Look Fat?"
Doctors Warned About Common Drugs for Pain
- "Why switch to a cheap generic brand, when Morphine gives you relief for hours and hours and hours....."
Garlic 'Does Not Cut Cholesterol'
- Report published by the Medical Vampires Association, House of Dracula in Transylvania
Juror Dismissed from "Scooter" Libby Trial
She requested early dismissal so she can start writing her book about the trial.
Two New Yorkers Plead "No Contest" in Alleged Extortion of MySpace
Claimed they thought it was TheirSpace.