Spoof news snippets from Monday 26 February 2007
NYC restaurant buys poisoned peanut butter
"Rats love peanut butter and we've got a rat problem," said the restaurant owner. "It just seems like a no-brainer..."
Virginia Lawmakers Issue Slavery Apology
- "Yeah, now that all the white people involved can't be sued because they're ALL dead."
Al Gore's Movie Wins Oscar for Best Documentary
The Hollywood crowd, tired of being pulled between presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, dumps them both and supports Al Gore for president.
Mirren Wins Oscar with "The Queen"
- Gay community stunned. Call her "Bitch!"
Welfare State Growing Despite Overhauls
- "Free monthly checks twice a month on a pre-loaded EBT credit card, Plus Free medical...I'll move there!"
Gore's "Inconvenient Truth" wins Oscar
- "Best Comedy in an Election Year, Produced by Fingers-Crossed Productions!"
Mass. Would Offer Cancer Vaccine Free
-"The Vatican should really stay out of the pharmaceutical industry."
Air And Space Museum Sees Fewer Visitors
- "It's not like we don't like science..it's just that there isn't anything to see."