Spoof news snippets from Sunday 18 February 2007
US Air Force halts printing of weekly base newspapers
Military's transition to "web-based newspapers" spells disaster for ink manufacturers and crossword puzzle makers. "We're expecting massive layoffs in those sectors," a Pentagon spokesman said...
Porn Star Seeks Fame With Clothes On
- Jose, star of the long-running 'TiaJuanna Beastiality Donkey Sex Show', wants to make a clean break of it in Hollywood, following in the footsteps of Mister ED."
Clinton Urges Start Of Iraq Pullout In 90 Days
- "Trust me, I'm a expert in knowing when to pull it out", Bill says with a smirk.
U.N. Urged To Take Action On Assteroid Threat
- "The conditions of some of the upholstery in the chairs at the United Nations Assembly Hall, made it a priority issue for an immediate response.
New York Man Found Dead One Year Later
- "Yup! We buried him a year ago & he's still there today!"
Woman Faces Two Years In Jail For Throwing Ice
- Drug dealers charge that, "She doesn't know the value in the production of meth!"
Report Claims Proposed Linking of Chrysler and GM Would Be an Alliance, Not a Merger
First they'll live together, THEN they'll consider marriage.