Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 17 April 2007
Bush outlaws swearing in all armed forces
Violators to be sentenced to 100 lashes and must listen to Jerry Falwell sermons for twelve consecutive Sundays.
Ann Summers Called Up
Sexy knicker chain Ann Summers has been hired by the British armed forces to boost morale in Iraq by hosting raunchy parties for recruits. Soldier's wives are said to be annoyed.
Big Brother Movie For Shilpa!
Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty is to appear in a movie, based on her Celebrity Big Brother experience. But in a shock move she is to play Jade Goody. She said: "I wanted to see what it was like to hurl racist abuse, rather than take it."
Bush Shocked By Virginia Tech Shootings
"Nearly 100 times worse than dead soldiers in Iraq - just do the numbers"