There were 108 spoof news snippets published in April 2007. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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Rating:

Birkhead happy to know for sure that "I'm Daniel Lynn's dad!"

But wants to know...."with a name like that, is this a boy or a girl?"

written by Jalapenoman, 10 April 2007
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Rapper Snoop Dog charged with gun and marijuana possession

Surprisingly, no one is surprised.

written by Jalapenoman, 11 April 2007
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Excerpt From Martha Stewart's "What to do With Leftover Easter Eggs"

#23. Feed them to the neighbor's dogs (gives them the farts really bad)

written by Jalapenoman, 11 April 2007
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Excerpt from Martha Stewart's "What to do With Leftover Easter Eggs"

#34: Donate them anonymously to Goodwill Industries. Let them deal with it.

written by Jalapenoman, 11 April 2007
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Don Ho passes away peacefully in Hawaii

All nappy headed daughters will attend from Rutgers

written by Jalapenoman, 16 April 2007
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Bush chimes in with two cents worth on Bush/Blair wedding

"You kin have anyone sing and fiddle fer us but them homo lesbian commie pinko rode hard n' put away wet Dixie Chicks."

written by Jalapenoman, 22 April 2007
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"TomTom to blame" for Presidential delay

President Bush arrived a day late at New York to address the UN. He claimed his TomTom sat nav directed him via the Tyne Tunnel.

written by Noshing Mink, 21 April 2007
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Sheryl Crow's Idea for All to Limit Use of Toilet Paper Doesn't Fly

It goes right down the toilet.

written by Gail Farrelly, 24 April 2007
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Bicycle stolen every 71 seconds!

Why do so many people want the same bike?

written by matthatt, 27 April 2007
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President Bush gets Wedding Jitters

CCN - Washingon, D.C. - President Bush was visibly showing signs of wedding jitters as the details of his wedding to Prime Minister Tony Blair move forward.

written by Cal Jennings, 22 April 2007
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EXCLUSIVE! More information on type of bean Hugh Grant threw at reporter.

It was a washed-up has bean!

written by matthatt, 28 April 2007
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Computer simulates mouse brain

We can now replace George Bush

written by matthatt, 29 April 2007
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Bush does not want to hear talk of withdrawl

He is worried the people will say the same as Laura always does.

written by matthatt, 30 April 2007
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Sir Elton John and Sir Paul McCartney to Play at Blair/Bush Wedding

CCN - London - Sir Elton John and Sir Paul McCartney are scheduled to play at the Blair/Bush wedding. Blair was delighted at the news.

written by Cal Jennings, 22 April 2007
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Britney Spears Itchy and Red in 'Spots'

CCN - Britney Spears has apparently been moaning and complaining about shaving herself bald because she has developed ugly, itchy, red patches. Britney has declared she will never shave again! She said, "I can't stand the itching and scratching. My head itches too."

written by Cal Jennings, 25 April 2007
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Bush Has Historians Jailed, Appoints Gonzales History Czar

President Bush, proclaiming that history will be kind to him, has historians jailed. Alberto Gonzales has been appointed the first History Czar.

written by Cal Jennings, 20 April 2007
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Fossil of GAY caveman found!

He wasn't a hunter, just a gatherer.

written by matthatt, 08 April 2007
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A real invisibility cloak is in our grasp: scientists

We can feel it, but we just can't see the damn thing!

written by matthatt, 10 April 2007
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Bush's Rubber Duck Refuses to Attend Wedding

CCN - Bush was upset when he learned that his Rubber Duck, or Ducky as Bush puts it, has declined the invitation to his wedding to Tony Blair.

written by Cal Jennings, 22 April 2007
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Cannabis 'disrupts brain centre'

Well, DUH!

written by matthatt, 30 April 2007
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Seals don't like clubbing!

They think they look stupid on the dancefloor.

written by matthatt, 07 April 2007
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A Slovenian man becomes the first person to swim the entire length of the Amazon river

Despite being followed by Iranian Navy.

written by matthatt, 08 April 2007
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Lab Technician loses invisibility cloak...

..."it was here a minute ago"

written by matthatt, 11 April 2007
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No interesting news. TheSpoof.com writers forced to do what real reporters do...

...make stuff up.

written by matthatt, 11 April 2007
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Rare Jane Austen portrait goes under the hammer ...

... she was so ugly, it's a much more satisfying way to destroy it than by simply burning it.

written by matthatt, 19 April 2007
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Guy Ritchie in big bad Brad, gay fart knocker shocker!

TheSpoof.com reporter discovers he can only write headlines!

written by matthatt, 20 April 2007
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God Angry With Alaska

God, tired of idol worship and every inconceivable act of evil, has frowned on Alaska.

written by Cal Jennings, 29 April 2007
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Many American Universities Forced to Close

Few students and professors can pass mental health screenings.

written by Gail Farrelly, 24 April 2007
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Cell Phones to Blame for Bee's disappearance

Bees tired of roaming fees, move to area where calls are free.

written by Doug Burrell, 20 April 2007
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Crew missing in Chile boat fire

Iran denies any involvement.

written by matthatt, 23 April 2007
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Blair rejects leak inquiry call

"I will take a leak when ever I bloody want to!"

written by matthatt, 25 April 2007
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Roxanne, You Left Your Red Light On!

In a bid to meet its carbon emissions target, The Netherlands have passed a new bill to supply its red light districts with energy efficient lighting.

written by Mark, 13 April 2007
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Kate Middleton Dumps Prince William

She's horrified to find out that he carries the "fat" gene just discovered by UK scientists.

written by Gail Farrelly, 14 April 2007
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Cold, Wind, and Rain Predicted for Boston Marathon

Lucky astronaut Sunita Williams is running the Marathon on a treadmill in space. Heavenly!

written by Gail Farrelly, 16 April 2007
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Catholic Church Changes Teaching about Limbo

Unbaptized babies CAN go to heaven after all, but only after being forced to listen to 100 hours of singing by Sanjaya.

written by Gail Farrelly, 21 April 2007
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Wal-Mart to Offer Abortions in Store

Critics howl they've gone too far!

written by Doug Burrell, 25 April 2007
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Gnarly Erik and CalJennings Have a Showdown

CCN - Today, Gnarly Erik and CalJennings met halfway between Texas and Alaska to have a showdown. Gnarly, donning his snowshoes, and Cal, in a cowboy hat, prepared for the battle with such vicious weapons as sarcasm, and the soft cushion, as used in the Spanish Inquisition.

written by Cal Jennings, 29 April 2007
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Ann Summers Called Up

Sexy knicker chain Ann Summers has been hired by the British armed forces to boost morale in Iraq by hosting raunchy parties for recruits. Soldier's wives are said to be annoyed.

written by Mark, 17 April 2007
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The Beckhams Haven't Yet Found a House in L.A.

May decide to temporarily camp out in stylish tent at LA Galaxy's Depot Center Stadium.

written by Gail Farrelly, 01 April 2007
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Scientists Say There Might Be Caves on Mars

Osama bin Laden delighted to hear it.

written by Gail Farrelly, 04 April 2007
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Researchers Discover Enzymes to Convert other Blood Groups to Universal Group 'O'

Vampires are ecstatic. 'O' is their favorite flavor.

written by Gail Farrelly, 04 April 2007
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Movie "The Hoax" Opens This Weekend

Finally we'll find out what REALLY happened to Joan of Arc's bones.

written by Gail Farrelly, 06 April 2007
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Greek Cruise Ship Evacuated...

...After it began to list, when too many passengers from Weight Watchers (the "Before" section of the group) congregated on one side of the vessel.

written by Gail Farrelly, 06 April 2007
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Martha Stewart Travels to Kazakhstan to See Friend Blast Into Space

Martha insists on giving the space capsule a good scrub before takeoff.

written by Gail Farrelly, 07 April 2007
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Tai Chi Could Help Do Away with Shingles......

But then it might be difficult to repair that dilapidated roof.

written by Gail Farrelly, 10 April 2007
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Martha Stewart's Buddy Arrives at International Space Station

Astronauts disappointed that he brought along a gourmet meal for them. They were hoping for Big Macs and fries.

written by Gail Farrelly, 10 April 2007
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Dark Chocolate Easter Bunnies Delighted

To Discover they may have the power to lower blood pressure.

written by Gail Farrelly, 11 April 2007
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Congress Agrees on Funds for Border Fence

(Washington, DC) After months of partisan bickering about the funding of a proposed border fence along the US/Mexican border, Congress agreed to purchase the fence from WalMart for the everyday low price of $249.99.

written by Doug Burrell, 20 April 2007
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TheSpoof sold!

Online satire site the www.thespoof.com was sold in a private transaction to Google, Inc. for $23 Billion US dollars according to Google CEO Dr Jack Schmidt. The Lowton brothers are all smiles.

written by NickFun, 24 April 2007
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US DHS raises terror alert to "orange"

Officials fear Osama bin Laden will release videotape of an April Fool prank he played on his friends...

written by Robin Berger, 01 April 2007
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Tiger Woods Attacked by Tiger in the Woods

(Orlando, FL) Tiger Woods was attacked by a tiger in the woods last night while camping with his wife. She reportedly yelled "FORE!" before the tiger attacked, but it was too late. Tiger is said to be recovering at a local hospital with only minor injuries.

written by Doug Burrell, 22 April 2007
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Excerpt from Martha Stewart's "What to do With Leftover Easter Eggs"

#26 Wait until after dark. Then celebrate Halloween early and "egg" every car in the neighborhood.

written by Gail Farrelly, 11 April 2007
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Cheney Plans Next Hunting Trip, Mayor Order Evacuation

The mayor of a small South Dakota town ordered a mandatory evacuation after it announced that Vice-President Dick Cheney would have his next hunting trip there. Shelters in neighboring counties, out of gunshot range, will be available for displaced residents.

written by Doug Burrell, 18 April 2007
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Sanjaya Sings Country on Idol, Alambama Secedes from Union

Following "American Idol" contestant Sanjaya Malakar's performance of a country song on last night's show, Alabama lawmakers called an emergency session and voted to secede from the Union. Governor Bob Riley told reporters, "America ain't what it used to be! Git 'r done!"

written by Doug Burrell, 18 April 2007
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Alberto Gonzales is the cause of global warming!

New study suggests the Attorney General is responsible for the Earth's rising temperatures. "All the hot air he was spewing at the Congressional hearings contributed greatly to global warming" says Harvard study.

written by Doug Burrell, 23 April 2007
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Several die as sewage dam breaks in Palestine

"I don't want to get all paranoid about this situation, but something sure smells to high heaven about this deal." claims mayor. "In fact, it just plain stinks!"

written by Gnarly Erik, 01 April 2007
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US to UK: April Fools.

Congress today announced that the US has pulled the biggest and longest running April fools joke on the UK; The American Revolution and everything since then was made up. One congressman commented, "Come on did you guys think we would actually vote for George W. twice?"

written by Trevelyan, 01 April 2007
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Osama Plays Huge April Fool's Joke On President Bush!

Osama Bin Ladin e-mails offer of surrender to excited President Bush before messaging 'GOTCHA, INFIDEL!" Freely admits to once diddling Laura. Asks Allah for forgiveness but tells Dubya to 'go piss up a rope'. Bush lost, confused, angry - i.e., like normal.

written by Gnarly Erik, 02 April 2007
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PET PEEVE: FDA Raises Terrier Alert to RED...

...in U.S. government reaction to recent dog food contamination issues. PETA immediately accuses Bush administration officials of canine profiling.

written by TomFoolery, 03 April 2007
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Spoof Editors Angered At President Bush

Editors of Spoof, the irreverent and irrelevant web site based in Britain, are so angered by President Bush making the site unlawful, they are taking it off the web. "He can just go wii" said one.

written by Gnarly Erik, 04 April 2007
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Stevie Wonder Loses Golf Tournament

(AP) West Palm Beach, FL -- Stevie Wonder took a beating from Tiger Woods at the Honda Classic yesterday with a loss of 3278 over par. Wonder was reported to have swung unsuccessfully 671 times at tee off. He was later seen driving his golf cart into the water hazard on the 11th hole.

written by Justin Thyme, 04 April 2007
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Truth is Finally Out

After over six years in office, President Bush candidly revealed why he never negotiates: He's just never been able to say or spell 'that word'.

written by Gnarly Erik, 04 April 2007
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Osama Bin Ladin Throws Hat in the Ring in Iowa

Notorious terrorist leader Osama Bin Ladin has joined the race for the US presidency by entering the Iowa caucus. Believes confusion over similarity of names "Osama" & "Obama" guarantees win.

written by Gnarly Erik, 05 April 2007
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Bush Admits He Made a Grave Mistake . . . . In Choosing the Chicken Divan Over the Shrimp At Red Lobster

"Why didn't I order the shrimp? Why, oh, why, oh why?" Says Bush

written by SamIAm, 05 April 2007
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Laura Bush:

"My attorney tells me I may have married a complete fool."

written by Gnarly Erik, 09 April 2007
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Excerpt from Martha Stewarts "What to do With Leftover Easter Eggs"

#263: Here's one that I and my family enjoy every year. Try cutting a hole in the top of your eggs, filling them with C4, and heading over to your former prosecutors house. Plant them in his flower beds and watch as they're blown to bits. Now thats some Easter fun.

written by writingguy, 12 April 2007
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Don Imus called "Dumb Anus"

Admits his foolish remark made him look like a ignorant asshole

written by Gnarly Erik, 15 April 2007
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Nappy Headed Hos Want Don Imus' Hide

Say Don Imus' apology just the beginning. Now want his boots, gold tooth, belt buckle, rabbit's foot, thong & more. Will pass on his pet goat & NRA membership.

written by Gnarly Erik, 14 April 2007
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Bush Loses Bet to Karl Rove

Didn't believe rerun of year old TV show would turn out the same: "Just doesn't make sense" says Bush.

written by Gnarly Erik, 15 April 2007
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Texas secedes from US!

Forms new country named "OBNOXIA". Other 49 states overjoyed. New national holiday declared: "Hallelujah Day!!!"

written by Gnarly Erik, 15 April 2007
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Strike Ends

Jack Bauer of "24" has negotiated an end to a hairdressers' strike. Thousands dead.

written by Oddbob, 19 April 2007
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Dance Shocker

Nothing happened at last night's Harbor High School Senior Prom. Principal Encie Moroski: "They danced a little, they had some snacks. They all went home at 11:00pm. I was able to go to bed by Midnight."

written by Oddbob, 20 April 2007
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Alec Baldwin Appointed New Ambassador to Iraq

"Anyone hating pigs as much as Alec does will fit right in with Muslims." says Bush. "Besides the Iraqis are all as crazy and angry as he is."

written by Gnarly Erik, 20 April 2007
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Cape Kennedy Gunman had Writting on inside of Arm with Black Pen

- Arm inscription read: FED EXMAIL

written by Moose&Squirell, 21 April 2007
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Department of Homeland Security Outlaws the Concept of Concepts

"Too many citizens are being confused between administration positions and reality"

written by Gnarly Erik, 21 April 2007
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Scientists Discover 'Red' Color a Menace to Civilization

'Red' states now reclassified as 'wine' states. Evangelicals riot nationwide & overseas too.

written by Gnarly Erik, 22 April 2007
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George W. Bush Will Not Be Prejudiced By Truths

Administration says firm hand needed when nation is threatened and president can not be influenced by facts

written by Gnarly Erik, 22 April 2007
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God Very Disappointed in G.W. Bush

God called him on Sunday to offer 'born again' salvation but no one home.

written by Gnarly Erik, 22 April 2007
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Blair: Brown is best

Tony Blair today declared that his favourite colour is Brown and not blue as originally thought. More to Follow

written by Lee Wyatt, 21 April 2007
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Mandleson to be bridesmaid

Peter Mandleson has confirmed he has been approached by the Pm to be his bridesmaid. more soon.

written by Lee Wyatt, 21 April 2007
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Arrest in Kangaroo Murder

Rolf Harris was today arrested on suspicion of murdering his Kangaroo.

written by Lee Wyatt, 25 April 2007
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Toy Story Woody Attempted Suicide

Woody, from Toy Story, was today found hanging in his loft wearing a Liverpool shirt. More soon...

written by Lee Wyatt, 26 April 2007
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Korea:

Korean Government declares owner of adult dog a 'vegetarian'. Owners of two or more declared 'ranchers'.

written by Gnarly Erik, 02 April 2007
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Indian Couple Commits Suicide Over the Death of Their Dog

Distraught over the loss, the grief-stricken pair inadvertently gorged themselves on the tainted dog food that sent their late loved one to poochie heaven, only to join him not long after.

written by TomFoolery, 02 April 2007
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President Bush outlaws TheSpoof.com

Angry at the number of jokes, satire articles, and snippets aimed at making fun of him, the President today outlawed the use, viewing, or mentioning of www.thespoof.com.

written by Trevelyan, 03 April 2007
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102-Year-Old Calif. Woman Hits Hole-in-1

Which in old lady talk means she got laid.

written by writingguy, 08 April 2007
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Cadbury's Issue Creme Egg Salmonella Warning

Chocolate giant warns consumers who have bought the Easter treat to ensure that they are boiled for 25-30 minutes before eating.

written by Gordon Tonker, 08 April 2007
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Feminist Campaigner Falls Down Manhole

As you can probably tell, she wasn't too happy...

written by Arther Canal, 09 April 2007
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Man with 18 daughters makes astonishing claim

Brags he is the father of an entire golf course

written by Gnarly Erik, 12 April 2007
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Bush Shocked By Virginia Tech Shootings

"Nearly 100 times worse than dead soldiers in Iraq - just do the numbers"

written by Gnarly Erik, 17 April 2007
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Big Brother Movie For Shilpa!

Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty is to appear in a movie, based on her Celebrity Big Brother experience. But in a shock move she is to play Jade Goody. She said: "I wanted to see what it was like to hurl racist abuse, rather than take it."

written by Martin Gooseflesh, 17 April 2007
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Bush outlaws swearing in all armed forces

Violators to be sentenced to 100 lashes and must listen to Jerry Falwell sermons for twelve consecutive Sundays.

written by Gnarly Erik, 17 April 2007
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Dems Limit Terms

Democrats declare end to "International War On Terror." Now "International War On Rude Behavior."

written by Oddbob, 19 April 2007
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Only 49 out of 50 contestants in Miss America contest this year

Due to the Don Imus contoversy, no contestant will wear the banner reading: "IDAHO"

written by Gnarly Erik, 20 April 2007
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Heads on Easter Island missing!

Iran denies involvement.

written by Oddbob, 23 April 2007
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Jesus Saves!!!

Mexico win on penalties.

written by Fergus McCarthy, 24 April 2007
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Blair: Marry me George

Tony Blair today asked for George W Bush's hand in marriage. More soon.

written by Lee Wyatt, 21 April 2007
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Bush: I'm Size 9

George W Bush today dismissed reports he was a size 8 shoe and declared "I'm a Nine".

written by Lee Wyatt, 25 April 2007
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George Bush, April Fool

Also a fool in May, June, July...

written by Tom Taylor, 03 April 2007
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Guns Don't Kill People

But damn, it sure makes it easier.

written by Tom Taylor, 23 April 2007
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