There were 1,146 spoof news snippets published in 2007. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

First Presidential hopeful withdraws from Democratic Party nomination process...

...leaving only 125,314 candidates remaining.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2007
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President George W. Bush views tornado destruction in Enterprise, Alabama and is upset at the scene

"I couldn't locate the bodies of Kirk or Spock anywhere and was hoping to find me one of those phaser thingies."

written by Jalapenoman, 05 March 2007
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Robert Blake, Following O.J. Again, To Release New Book

The book is titled: "I Ain't Sayin' I Done Nuthin, But If I'da Done Sumthin', Dis Is Hows I'da Done It."

written by Jalapenoman, 24 September 2007
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Pelosi demands a bigger plane

Republicans offer the Spruce Goose

written by Jalapenoman, 09 February 2007
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Birkhead happy to know for sure that "I'm Daniel Lynn's dad!"

But wants to know...."with a name like that, is this a boy or a girl?"

written by Jalapenoman, 10 April 2007
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President Bush picks Guiness record ten pound booger and flicks it at Pelosi

Ten seconds later, his head collapses.

written by Jalapenoman, 20 February 2007
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Why the New York Yankees will not win the World Series again this year under their new manager:

Because it's over, stupid. They played it last month.

written by Jalapenoman, 05 November 2007
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Rapper Snoop Dog to release coffee table sized book for the holidays

White Women I Have Fuzizzled expected to be Christmas best seller in black community.

written by Jalapenoman, 19 November 2007
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News of 218 pound eight year old being taken from parents for negligence causes mixed reactions

Fat Albert goes on sugar eating binge due to jealousy

written by Jalapenoman, 01 March 2007
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O.J. Simpson finally admits that he was not trying to steal back his own memorabilia

"I was trying to get an autographed pair of Britney's panties since they are a rare thing now because she doesn't wear them anymore."

written by Jalapenoman, 23 September 2007
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Wade Phillips, another of the father/son coaching legacy, takes over as head coach of NFL's Cowboys

Dallas team now called the "Son of a Bum's boys."

written by Jalapenoman, 09 February 2007
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Rapper Snoop Dog charged with gun and marijuana possession

Surprisingly, no one is surprised.

written by Jalapenoman, 11 April 2007
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Excerpt From Martha Stewart's "What to do With Leftover Easter Eggs"

#23. Feed them to the neighbor's dogs (gives them the farts really bad)

written by Jalapenoman, 11 April 2007
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Excerpt from Martha Stewart's "What to do With Leftover Easter Eggs"

#34: Donate them anonymously to Goodwill Industries. Let them deal with it.

written by Jalapenoman, 11 April 2007
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Don Ho passes away peacefully in Hawaii

All nappy headed daughters will attend from Rutgers

written by Jalapenoman, 16 April 2007
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Bush chimes in with two cents worth on Bush/Blair wedding

"You kin have anyone sing and fiddle fer us but them homo lesbian commie pinko rode hard n' put away wet Dixie Chicks."

written by Jalapenoman, 22 April 2007
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President Bush sets personal record by going three days without saying something stupid.

Doctors blame the problem on laryangitis.

written by Jalapenoman, 05 March 2007
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Pouty Paris Protests Puppyless Prison Policy

"Tender, tiny Tinkerbell tends to tear. If I'm incarcerated, it'll eat 'er insides."

written by Jalapenoman, 10 May 2007
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Speedy Alka Seltzer caught sipping Pepto Bismol

He comes out of the closet and admits that "I like being in the pink."

written by Jalapenoman, 15 March 2007
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"Rent a Wife" says she'll do housecleaning, sewing, and dishes, but no sex.

Men wonder what makes that different than most marriages.

written by Jalapenoman, 04 March 2007
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Middle East: Iraq to change name to Iram.

Olympic athletes have had enough of trailing Iran in opening ceremonies.

written by Fergus McCarthy, 31 March 2007
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"St-st-st-st-stammering's a s-s-s-s-serious problem", director of British Stammering Association says

The director of the British Stammering Association, in a 2-hour interview, told our reporter that stammering is a serious problem.

written by Noshing Mink, 27 September 2007
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"TomTom to blame" for Presidential delay

President Bush arrived a day late at New York to address the UN. He claimed his TomTom sat nav directed him via the Tyne Tunnel.

written by Noshing Mink, 21 April 2007
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Sheryl Crow's Idea for All to Limit Use of Toilet Paper Doesn't Fly

It goes right down the toilet.

written by Gail Farrelly, 24 April 2007
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Scientists have new results from cannabis studies...

...but can't remember what they are.

written by matthatt, 09 May 2007
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Dyslexic Judge

sentences entire city of Philadelphia.

written by matthatt, 05 June 2007
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Bicycle stolen every 71 seconds!

Why do so many people want the same bike?

written by matthatt, 27 April 2007
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Cabinet Minister Ed Balls changes first name to "Suckmy"

Westminster is reeling after news that the Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families, Ed Balls, has changed his first name to "Suckmy". Now he will be known as "the Right Honourable Suckmy Balls".

written by Noshing Mink, 04 September 2007
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FREE PARIS HILTON!

in every box of crunchy nut cornflakes.

written by matthatt, 09 May 2007
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President Bush gets Wedding Jitters

CCN - Washingon, D.C. - President Bush was visibly showing signs of wedding jitters as the details of his wedding to Prime Minister Tony Blair move forward.

written by Cal Jennings, 22 April 2007
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EXCLUSIVE! More information on type of bean Hugh Grant threw at reporter.

It was a washed-up has bean!

written by matthatt, 28 April 2007
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Computer simulates mouse brain

We can now replace George Bush

written by matthatt, 29 April 2007
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Bush does not want to hear talk of withdrawl

He is worried the people will say the same as Laura always does.

written by matthatt, 30 April 2007
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Alistair Darling admitted to hospital for surgery on spine

Once thought to be spineless, Alistair Darling has actually got one - doctors found it today along with two slipped discs.

written by IN SEINE, 21 November 2007
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Corrupt Bastards Club Intervenes in Cattle Pollution

CCN - Lord Browne, the BP member of the Corrupt Bastards Club, was sent to reduce the amount of methane produced by cattle.

written by Cal Jennings, 11 July 2007
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New website launched for selling your own organs.

It's called ME-BAY!

written by matthatt, 31 May 2007
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Sir Elton John and Sir Paul McCartney to Play at Blair/Bush Wedding

CCN - London - Sir Elton John and Sir Paul McCartney are scheduled to play at the Blair/Bush wedding. Blair was delighted at the news.

written by Cal Jennings, 22 April 2007
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McDonald's in Commemorative Bun Ban.

McDonald's were due to launch a burger to celebrate the forthcoming 60th birthady of HRH Princess Ann. They were going to call it the 'McAnn', but it would be seen to be in BAD TASTE. Back to the McThink tank, boys!

written by IN SEINE, 03 November 2007
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Britney Spears Itchy and Red in 'Spots'

CCN - Britney Spears has apparently been moaning and complaining about shaving herself bald because she has developed ugly, itchy, red patches. Britney has declared she will never shave again! She said, "I can't stand the itching and scratching. My head itches too."

written by Cal Jennings, 25 April 2007
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Bill Oddie evolves into a goldfinch

Autmnwatch presenter, Bill Oddie has died his hair red, green,white - just some of the colours of the goldfinch. It all began when one of his fellow presenters called him a 'Grey tit or should it have been a 'Great Tit'.

written by IN SEINE, 13 November 2007
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Phone Sex

An Irish woman was admitted to hospital after having phone sex. Doctors removed 2 Nokias, 3 Motorolas and a Samsung. No Siemen was found.

written by IN SEINE, 16 November 2007
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Helpful hint for Dubya

President Bush should know by now that unemployment ISN'T working

written by IN SEINE, 20 November 2007
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Bush Has Historians Jailed, Appoints Gonzales History Czar

President Bush, proclaiming that history will be kind to him, has historians jailed. Alberto Gonzales has been appointed the first History Czar.

written by Cal Jennings, 20 April 2007
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Wiccans turn Cal Jennings into Lizard

CCN - TheSpoof.com writer Cal Jennings was turned into a lizard by Wiccans today. "Those damn pagan idol worshipers will get theirs when Jerry Falwell makes his second coming," said Cal Jennings.

written by Cal Jennings, 18 May 2007
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Fossil of GAY caveman found!

He wasn't a hunter, just a gatherer.

written by matthatt, 08 April 2007
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A real invisibility cloak is in our grasp: scientists

We can feel it, but we just can't see the damn thing!

written by matthatt, 10 April 2007
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Bush's Rubber Duck Refuses to Attend Wedding

CCN - Bush was upset when he learned that his Rubber Duck, or Ducky as Bush puts it, has declined the invitation to his wedding to Tony Blair.

written by Cal Jennings, 22 April 2007
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Dick Cheney Repents

CCN - Dick Cheney, after doing some soul searching, has repented his sins against humanity and has joined in the effort to impeach Bush.

written by Cal Jennings, 21 August 2007
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Cannabis 'disrupts brain centre'

Well, DUH!

written by matthatt, 30 April 2007
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CIA Official Admits 9/11 a Hoax

CCN - Former Assistant Defense Secretary Richard Perle has testified that 9/11 is a hoax. He said that Tenet is trying to shift the blame for 9/11. White House are scrambling to figure out how Bush is going to get out of this one.

written by Cal Jennings, 05 May 2007
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Britain Flood Update

It's still raining.

written by Mark, 01 July 2007
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The cruelty of atheism

Atheism is cruel because it's offensive to God

written by sharkastic, 15 May 2007
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Anna Nichol Smiths DNA on EBay

Send in the clones.

written by matthatt, 22 March 2007
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President Bush Laughed At During Coast Guard Academy Speech

CCN - President Bush gave a speech to the United States Coast Guard Academy where he was almost laughed off the stage before he could talk about the War in Iraq being essential to America.

written by Cal Jennings, 26 May 2007
Rating:

Seals don't like clubbing!

They think they look stupid on the dancefloor.

written by matthatt, 07 April 2007
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A Slovenian man becomes the first person to swim the entire length of the Amazon river

Despite being followed by Iranian Navy.

written by matthatt, 08 April 2007
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Lab Technician loses invisibility cloak...

..."it was here a minute ago"

written by matthatt, 11 April 2007
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No interesting news. TheSpoof.com writers forced to do what real reporters do...

...make stuff up.

written by matthatt, 11 April 2007
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Rare Jane Austen portrait goes under the hammer ...

... she was so ugly, it's a much more satisfying way to destroy it than by simply burning it.

written by matthatt, 19 April 2007
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Guy Ritchie in big bad Brad, gay fart knocker shocker!

TheSpoof.com reporter discovers he can only write headlines!

written by matthatt, 20 April 2007
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Hugh G. Wadmore III Writes The Spoof

CCN - Hugh G. Wadmore III wrote TheSpoof.com a letter which has been posted in the Satire section. He has no iDEa why the "little people" are complaining.

written by Cal Jennings, 16 June 2007
Rating:

God Angry With Alaska

God, tired of idol worship and every inconceivable act of evil, has frowned on Alaska.

written by Cal Jennings, 29 April 2007
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Cheney's Airplane Has Mechanical Problem

CCN - Vice President Dick Cheney's airplane had a small mechanical problem. Unfortunately, there were no safety concerns and the aircraft was scheduled to make a planned refuelling stop in Singapore after his trip to Australia.

written by Cal Jennings, 27 August 2007
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Story Correction

TheSpoof.com - Writer Gnarly Erik made a slight mistake in his story President's Approval Ratings Top Out At 26%! He simply mistyped and forgot the decimal point in front of the 26. It should read .26%.

written by Cal Jennings, 24 June 2007
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Captain Marvel Dies. Superhero Spoof Writer Mourns.

CCN - Cal-el, who some know as TheSpoof.com writer Cal Jennings, mourns the death of Captain Marvel.

written by Cal Jennings, 02 July 2007
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Bush Ok's Blair to Allow Blue at Wedding

CCN - Today, George Bush said that it was alright for Blair to wear a little blue at their wedding if he wanted. Blair had feared that wearing blue at the wedding would upset the Red State leader. All guests are relieved that blue is no longer banned.

written by Cal Jennings, 12 May 2007
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Many American Universities Forced to Close

Few students and professors can pass mental health screenings.

written by Gail Farrelly, 24 April 2007
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Portrait of Queen Elizabeth II Appears on The Spoof

The Palace demanded it, since many people think that Helen Mirren is "The Queen."

written by Gail Farrelly, 01 March 2007
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Fly-type Thingie Accompanying Many Spoof Stories Is Subject of Speculation

Some think it's a plain old bug; others argue it's Elton John hiding behind a pair of sunglasses.

written by Gail Farrelly, 25 September 2007
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Anna Nicole's breasts to hang in the Smithsonian

The tragic centrefold's breast have been saved for the Nation after Congress approved a $10million rescue deal

written by queen mudder, 09 February 2007
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Gay Whales spotted at Golden Gate Bridge

San Francisco - Two gay whales were spotted swimming toward the Golden Gate Bridge. They were reportedly there after hearing about the Freakers Ball when gay S&M VECO/BP supertanker captain was listening to his Dr. Hook CD. They were disappointed that it isn't until October.

written by Cal Jennings, 31 May 2007
Rating:

Dennis Kucinich Teams Up with Ron Paul

CCN - Dennis Kucinich teamed up with Ron Paul today to form the Unity Party after both were kicked out of the parties in which they were trying to run.

written by Cal Jennings, 28 July 2007
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Republicans Change Party Symbol to Chicken

CCN - "The Internets" - All but two of the Republican presidential hopefuls have turned down the one debate being hailed as the format created by the American people. As a result, the party symbol has been changed from an elephant to a chicken.

written by Cal Jennings, 29 July 2007
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Cell Phones to Blame for Bee's disappearance

Bees tired of roaming fees, move to area where calls are free.

written by Doug Burrell, 20 April 2007
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Britney Decapitates Self

Britney Spears has decapitated herself. Although her aides remain silent on the issue, Ms Spears has had her head replaced by a watermelon. "She's clearly on self destruct" said one Hollywood insider before adding "Do you want a large shake or fries with that?"

written by Ed Parnell, 20 February 2007
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Crew missing in Chile boat fire

Iran denies any involvement.

written by matthatt, 23 April 2007
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Blair rejects leak inquiry call

"I will take a leak when ever I bloody want to!"

written by matthatt, 25 April 2007
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Arnold Schwarzenegger Makes Bid for President

CCN - Washington, D.C. - Showing that he is the only Republican with any common sense, Arnold Schwarzenegger put in his bid for president.

written by Cal Jennings, 03 May 2007
Rating:

Livingstone: Mayor was Nazi

Mayor of London Ken Livingstone was a member of the Hilter Youth during WW2, new files released today reveal. The unrepentant Mayor said: 'Many Muslims fought bravely for the Germans during the war.'

written by parveen liddy, 15 November 2007
Rating:

George Bush Called Best President EVER!

CCN - According to a writer in India, George Bush will be remembered as the best president EVER! Of course, India hasn't been affected much by Bush.

written by Cal Jennings, 05 July 2007
Rating:

Bush Declares the Earth Fat

CCN - Upon finding that the Earth weighs around 6,588,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons, President Bush declared that the Earth is too fat and suggested that it go on a diet.

written by Cal Jennings, 11 May 2007
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The Spoof's Queen Mudder Ponders Taking Some Time Off for Mother's Day

May only produce 3 or 4 stories instead of her usual daily output of 5 or 6.

written by Gail Farrelly, 13 May 2007
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Barron William Trump Celebrates First Birthday

Buys three properties in Manhattan, says "You're fired" to his nanny, hangs an even bigger American flag on his Florida home, and sends a nasty e-mail to Rosie O'Donnell.

written by Gail Farrelly, 20 March 2007
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Superstar Singer Usher Cancels Wedding

He's quoted as saying, "Hey, I didn't know I was expected to be the groom. I was planning on being just an usher."

written by Gail Farrelly, 30 July 2007
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Photo of Fat Man Pulling a Green Plaid Suitcase Dominates The Spoof

Hating the attention, he's complained, "Just because I'm the world's first pregnant male, there's no need to plaster my picture all over the website."

written by Gail Farrelly, 12 August 2007
Rating:

Ron Paul Comes in Fifth in Iowa Straw Poll

He's not disappointed that he didn't win, saying: "I'm not that big a fan of Iowa straw anyway."

written by Gail Farrelly, 12 August 2007
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Roxanne, You Left Your Red Light On!

In a bid to meet its carbon emissions target, The Netherlands have passed a new bill to supply its red light districts with energy efficient lighting.

written by Mark, 13 April 2007
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Kate Middleton Dumps Prince William

She's horrified to find out that he carries the "fat" gene just discovered by UK scientists.

written by Gail Farrelly, 14 April 2007
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Cold, Wind, and Rain Predicted for Boston Marathon

Lucky astronaut Sunita Williams is running the Marathon on a treadmill in space. Heavenly!

written by Gail Farrelly, 16 April 2007
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Catholic Church Changes Teaching about Limbo

Unbaptized babies CAN go to heaven after all, but only after being forced to listen to 100 hours of singing by Sanjaya.

written by Gail Farrelly, 21 April 2007
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Federal Agents Arrest Illegal Immigrants in Raid at Ohio Chicken-Processing Plant

Many of the chickens were also proven to be illegal and were immediately deported.

written by Gail Farrelly, 31 August 2007
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Juror Dismissed from "Scooter" Libby Trial

She requested early dismissal so she can start writing her book about the trial.

written by Gail Farrelly, 28 February 2007
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NBC and iTunes Announce Divorce

"MUST SEE TV? It's just not for me," declared Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple.

written by Gail Farrelly, 08 September 2007
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FDA Says Sleep Medications May Cause Strange Behaviors

Many of The Spoof's writers wake up in the morning and find they've submitted several stories, but they have no memory of writing them. And no interest in reading them.

written by Gail Farrelly, 15 March 2007
Rating:

Spoof Writer's Insurance Cancelled by BP

CCN - Cal Jennings, a writer at TheSpoof.com, had his insurance revoked back to April for writing about the Corrupt Bastards Club members at BP and for making DVD videos for the Ron Paul campaign before the Iowa Straw Poll.

written by Cal Jennings, 15 June 2007
Rating:

Egg Man Suffers Horrific Head Injuries Following Fall

Could not be saved despite best efforts of all the Kings Horses and all the Kings Men

written by Shinny, 28 June 2007
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NASCAR controversy grows

Officials levy big fines against "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" and "Flubbermobile" for spiking their fuel with illegal substances...

written by Robin Berger, 17 February 2007
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Wal-Mart to Offer Abortions in Store

Critics howl they've gone too far!

written by Doug Burrell, 25 April 2007
Rating:

Gnarly Erik and CalJennings Have a Showdown

CCN - Today, Gnarly Erik and CalJennings met halfway between Texas and Alaska to have a showdown. Gnarly, donning his snowshoes, and Cal, in a cowboy hat, prepared for the battle with such vicious weapons as sarcasm, and the soft cushion, as used in the Spanish Inquisition.

written by Cal Jennings, 29 April 2007
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Bush to Wear White Tie

CCN - President Bush has agreed to wear a white tie to meet Queen Elizabeth II after being cut off by Laura.

written by Cal Jennings, 05 May 2007
« 2006 2007 2008 »
January
2
snippets
February
154
snippets
March
103
snippets
April
108
snippets
May
123
snippets
June
164
snippets
July
63
snippets
August
97
snippets
September
77
snippets
October
96
snippets
November
90
snippets
December
69
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