Spoof news snippets from Monday 4 April 2005
Pope Snubs God – Chooses Caribbean
Late Pope John Paul 2nd has decided to spend eternity in the Caribbean instead of Heaven, saying it is “warmer and less old fashioned”. His soul can now be reached on the beach at Barbados.
God Snubs Pope - Prior Engagement
God has confirmed he will not attend the Pope's funeral if it clashes with Prince Charles and Mrs Parker-Bowles’ wedding. “Fair’s fair – Karol should have checked the date with me before snuffing it”
New Pope to receive "Java Ring of the Fisherman"
Vatican's webmaster describes biometric authentication device as an "upgrade" to traditional pontificate symbol of power. "It will protect the new Holy Father against identity theft..."