Spoof news snippets from July 2004
There were 20 spoof news snippets published in July 2004. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
'Queer Eye' to add Celebrities
The hit TV show 'Queer Eye' will add Bill Cosby and members from the Grateful Dead. The show will be called "I Spy a Queer Eye for a TieDye" and will move to the Family Channel's six a.m. slot
Terrorist Cell Found Hiding in Michael Moore
The CIA announced today that three Jordanian terrorists were found hiding inside filmmaker Michael Moore. The terrorists are in U.S. custody, and Moore is said to be feeling "a lot less sluggish."
Tori Spelling to wed Baboon!-Luke and Garry not invited.
Tori Spelling and her beau will wed today in Malibu. Unfortunately Luke would not attend citing "Garry is never invited to these things, so I'm not going." NY times
Can the VP
DUNSMORE, Iowa -- After careful consideration, Democratic candidate John Kerry has decided not to have a running mate in his bid for the Presidency.
STREISAND-MANSON TOUR ANNOUNCED
Legendary diva Barbara Streisand announced today that a 15 city tour will begin with goth-rocker Marilyn Manson.News media asked,"Why Manson?" Babs replied, "Manson,shmanson. I love his wardrobe!"
Thou shalt obey me
The UK government is to try to pass laws criminalising incitement of religious hatred, Home Secretary and God-apparent David Blunkett says.
Evil Robot Attacks NY!
Many have been injured in the last few days. An evil 80 foot tall robot with plasma guns, grenade launchers and a bomb shooter is destroying New York City! Do not return to NY until further notices.
Study Shows "Ignorance is Truly Bliss!"
Armed with the findings, President Bush announces he will disolve the Deprtment of Education and replace it with the "Department of Fun Stuff".
Bin Laden found in strip club
Osama Bin Laden was found getting a blowjob in an LA strip club, more to follow soon.
Good Samaritan Matrix Fan Shot Dead
A passerby attempting to aid woman being robbed was shot 27 times while dodging in slow motion.
Assailant reloaded twice.
Hussein Pleads Insanity
BAGHDAD, Iraq - Appearing before a judge, Saddam Hussein pled insanity, asked for another crack at Iran and endorsed the Bush/Cheney campaign.
NEWS FLASH -- JAKARTA, INDONESIA. . .
June 2 -- Today, Colin Powell purportedly said that former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein should be presumed innocent unless proven guilty by the evidence. . . Honest!
MLK Jr Turns Over In Grave
Magnetic soil imaging has confirmed that the famed civil rights leader rolled over in his grave after the media's millionth reference to the gay marriage debate as a civil rights issue.
Less Atlas Because of Moore?
A leaked copy of the 2005 Rand-McNally USA atlas omits Davison, MI, hometown of radical filmmaker Michael Moore.
Dick Cheney Takes Michael Moore Hostage
VP says the film maker will be beheaded unless Keneth Lay is released. "Spring my boy, or this
f#%ker is toast!" Cheney says.
Lynn Cheney at it again, claims "Dick's stuff does stink"
Shortly after challenging Dick on civil unions Lynn Cheney broke from the party line again. Speaking to a women's group Friday, she broke from topic and declared, "He can really clear a room."
Woman down to size 4, refuses to quit Adkins. Friends reportedly annoyed
After losing 15 excess pounds preparing for swimsuit season, Janie Morris continues her low carb obsession. Close friends believe diet "just gives her something to blab about."
The missing weapons of mass destruction have been found by US special forces in Iraq- buried in Saddam's back yard. Michael Moore is yet to comment (surprisingly!).
Verizon Wireless Gives Up
Yesterday, Verizon Wireless gave all cellular stations, employees and property to Cingular Wireless. Denny Strigl (CEO) claims that he was just feeling generous that day.
US Caps Iraq Casualties at 911
The White House has announced that only 911 American soldiers will be allowed to die in Iraq. The rest must stay the course.