Spoof news snippets from August 2004
There were 13 spoof news snippets published in August 2004. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Boost for Kerry!
John Kerry is to return to Vietnam to meet Luki Wan Ka, the teenager who had been in a coma since being shot by Kerry during the conflict. Doctors says that Luki hopes to become an American citizen!
Country Music Used as Homophobic propaganda!
The CIA have discovered coded messages being used in Country Music songs by The Statler Bros! The group have been summoned to The White House to meet President Bush and Toby Keith.
Pensioners go to Pot
Three pensioners will appear in Northampton Magistrates Court later this week, charged with possession of cannabis. All are residents of the controversial Tambourine Mansions care home.
The Chief Executive of the Football Association has resigned after his affair with Faria Alam. He said it was a mistake and that his ball control was about as good as England’s in Euro 2004.
German has words
Germany is holding a competition for the most beautiful German word. There are several thousand entries so far but the British bet for a winner is whichever one translates as Federal Superstate.
Vatican and feminism
The Pope condemned feminism as demeaning to women. He said a bunch of militant lezzers could never have the empathy and understanding that unmarried sado-masochistic men in dresses could produce.
Religion & women again
The Pope said he will stand firm on women. At least until they stop wriggling about.
Michael Jackson pops out
Michael Jackson made an unexpected visit to a shopping mall and delighted fans. He denied it was just a publicity stunt and said that he often popped out for a nibble at the slightest invitation.
Conservative Party Games
Tim Yeo has urged the Conservative Party to raise its game. Suggestions have included Brag and Scrabble though Michael Howard is known to favour anything that involves bats.
David Blunkett blind-sided over id cards
David Blunkett admitted to journalists in a pub that the trial ID card was badly designed, before being advised that he was holding a round beer mat.
Genetic Breakthrough for Vegetarians and Dog Lovers
A vegetarian, canine-loving scientist has crossed a "pooch" with a zucchini. The resulting species, named a pucchini, is pale green with a melodious bark.
Idiot Challenges the Idiotic
The official village idiot in a medieval English hamlet has been elected mayor by residents as a protest over Home Secretary David Blunkett’s new laws governing the height of hedgerows.