Spoof news snippets from September 2003
There were 17 spoof news snippets published in September 2003. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Money makes the world go round
Human rights campaigners have discovered workshops in south-east Asia, where hoards of children are suspended on ropes and forced to turn the earth like a gigantic hamster wheel.
George Bush: Al Quaeda Operative
An unconfirmed source has commented that George Bush may infact be a terrorist, who is determined to cripple the US financially.
David Blaine ate my Hamster
David Blaine the illusionist currently dangling over the Thames living off water for 44 days & nights was seen breaking his fast nibbling on a hamster. If claim is true, his attempt will be nullified.
Leni Riefenstahl Dies aged 101
Hitler's favourite film maker has died aged 101. TheSpoof remembers Leni for her joke film to the Führer "Hitler : Der Mann mit eine Raupe unter seine Nase" (The man with a caterpillar under his nose)
The Hutton enquiry : Latest
Government insists that BBC claims over Lord Hutton taking a six-minute toilet break were 'sexed-up.' An enquiry into the matter will ensue.
Iain Duncan Smith has momentary visibility
Doctors have confirmed that IDS can only be seen 20% of the time, and usually at night. This could explain why the Tory party is rarely noticed these days.
Terrorists Continue to Rock Israel
Thrash-metal group "The Terrorists" continue their world peace-tour in Israel. Fans are determined to not be deterred by ongoing suicide bombings.
Innocent man drops trousers
A strange incident occured in court today as Artie McGellan dropped his pants in joy upon hearing his innocent verdict. Mr McGellan has since been re-tried and is awaiting death by lethal injection.
Rolf Harris ties his kangaroo down
Famously bearded Rolf Harris, has been seen tying his kangaroo down. This is likely to cause confusion with those he has previously requested assistance from in this duty.
Man eater eaten by man
Jo Brand, eater of men (and children) was today found eaten in a fat man's stomach. Brian Anderson, 46, claims to have "no idea" how she got in there but suspects Islamic terrorists are to blame.
Tony "The" Tiger eats Woman
Tony "The" Tiger has been arrested following allegations that he tore into a free plastic female he found in his cereal. He is now set to be Britains first animal cereal killer.
Mr. Blobby Shot Dead
Former TV megastar Mr. Blobby has been shot dead during a dispute with TV rebel Noel Edmonds. The police have issued Mr. Edmonds with a commendation following the murder.
Horseradish in the dock
Lawyers representing the National Union of Vegetables were in court today defending horseradish. Trading Standards believe it is "misleading" to call a vegetable horseradish when it contains no horse.
Oompah man sticks it up his jumper
Newcastle 'local oompah-man' has apparently stuck 'it' up his jumper. Residents are unable to assess the danger of the situation.
Drunken bees raid glue factory
Bees, soaked up with rum, have invaded a glue factory in Dublin. The bees are said to be getting "stuck in" whilst employees are helping by licking their pelts clean of the alcohol.
Man wins Jilly Cooper
A "huge misprint" on a box of Weetabix has resulted in a man winning mildly-acclaimed novelist Jilly Cooper. Weetabix were today seen "razzing about" in the Mini Cooper that was the intended prize.
'Aint no Mountain High Enough!
Some of the top mountaineers in the world, including Desmond Pillory and his sidekick Therpa Ginseng, have decided to hold a summit on a summit, somewhere in the world.