Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Saturday, 3 September 2011

Biologists have made strange new discoveries about some of the earliest known fossils, from around 500 million years ago when the male and female sexes were beginning to form. It appears that early penes (or penises) developed rather like a camel's hump, as a place for species to store excess fat which could be consumed later.

Many early fossils have been found in an unusual position, eating their own genitalia, which can only mean one thing - that they used it for food. From the blue whale's enormous 3 metre dong, to Charlie Sheen's millimetre-long micro-winkle, nobody can deny that all penises are edible and can provide a useful source of protein during times of crisis.

It now appears that the penis did evolve as a spare food supply, and in future it could again help to solve world hunger problems. If everyone in Africa ate each other's penis, then starvation in the dark continent would disappear overnight. Nelson Mandela has already eaten his, and now recommends that others do likewise.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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