Written by Ellie James
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Tuesday, 30 August 2011

image for Stalactite App to be Developed
At this time, the stalactite app will not be available for the iPhoneBooth

Cupertino, California - As news got out about a secret cave of stalactites in Scotland, Apple, Inc. has decided to create the Stalactite app. Apple plans on using web cams so that the users can see the stalactites form in real time.

The Grampian Speleological Group from Edinburgh is not pleased with the app as they are the ones keeping the cave a secret from the world. However, they do recognize that if people can watch the stalactites from the comfort of their own couch, or on a train or perhaps while working at the office, then maybe no one would want to see the secret cave anyway and risk hurting the stalactites.

When pressured, Apple has remained noncommittal about the possibility of a Stalagmite app. However, recent studies have shown that people don't care for stalagmites as they seem to for stalactites.

Apple, Inc. has decided to sell the app for a $9.99 onetime fee. They remain optimistic that it will be a huge seller as stalactites are so popular among people of all ages. "We realize it takes eons for a stalactite to form, but our research shows that people really want to spend their hours watching their development," states Jonathan Harper, a representative for Apple, Inc.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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