(Health Anxiety Quarterly) - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently announced a chilling new finding, revealing that germs themselves are some of the dirtiest organisms on our planet.
Lead [pronounced leed] researcher, Dr. Hai Po-Kondriak, had this to say: "Some people think of a pig as a dirty creature, because of how it looks. And others think of a dog licking its private parts and then immediately licking its owner's face. Disgusting, you say? Well, thanks to recent advances in nano-technology, we now have proof that germs lick their privates and wallow in their own waste on a routine basis -- plus they never shower. Not to mention they usually practice unprotected sex."
As a result of the untidy behavior of most germs, experts warn that the next great pandemic is less likely to come from the trifecta of the bird-cow-primate community than from the germ community itself.